- Reporter: [narrating] Meanwhile, the Scunner Campbell finds that in the list of Top 50 criminals he's now in bottom place.
- Scunner Campbell: Fiftieth! Me, the great Scunner Campbell! Shivering snakebites, surely I'm not that bad a crook!
- Hon. Bertrand Battenberg: You're a dastardly Liverpudlian crook, aren't you?
- Mad Mick: Got it in one. Guess, what, sunshine? You're coming home with me, to Liverpool.
- Hon. Bertrand Battenberg: Mummy wouldn't want me to go there, I mean it's nowhere near as nice as where I live, in Uppercraft Storm Thames!
- Mad Mick: Get going, you wally!
- Hon. Bertrand Battenberg: Mummy!
- Geoff Capes: That's it, I've got it, I've got it!
- PC Rupert Leekie: What have you got, Mr. Capes?
- Geoff Capes: The solution. What does Supergran have every day to keep up her super strength, and what hasn't she been having every day since she got grounded?
- PC Rupert Leekie: I give up, Mr. Capes.
- Geoff Capes: Porridge! Masses of porridge!
- Edison: That's it, you're right, Mr. Capes!