- Hayley Smith: I am a proud and evolved woman and I have nothing to be ashamed of.
- [takes off her robe and poses]
- Roger the Alien: Nice.
- [waves at Hayley. Hayley gasps and covers herself]
- Roger the Alien: Madam, please uncover yourself. Does anyone have any areola pink? I only have one tube.
- Stan Smith: [When Stan ends up in court for beating up the meter maid] This is humiliating.
- Francine Smith: Relax, Stan. Nothing's gonna happen. Punching a meter maid. It's like punching a fat person. No one cares.
- Stan Smith: Francine finally had what she wanted. She was married to a somebody and she was enjoying a taste of the good life. Unfortunately, I didn 't count on her having an appetite. The appetite of a good-life elephant. Does that make sense? It doesn 't need to. I was a meter maid.
- Roger the Alien: [after Francine destroys Roger's painting of Hayley] My art! You've destroyed my drawing of Hayley.
- Steve Smith: Hayley?
- Roger the Alien: It's obvious what you have to do, Steve. You have to kill yourself.
- Steve Smith: What? Why? Nobody saw.
- Roger the Alien: God saw. Everyone in heaven saw. Aunt Sadie, Great Gram-Gram, Star Trek's James Doohan...
- Steve Smith: Scotty saw?
- Roger the Alien: Scotty watched the whole damn thing.
- [Steve starts crying]
- Hayley Smith: You know what, Roger? This whole thing is your fault. I am gonna kick your ass!
- Roger the Alien: You think you got a shot, porn star? Then bring it.
- [Hayley punches Roger in the stomach]
- Roger the Alien: I wasn't ready. This is how Houdini died!
- Stan Smith: [to Hayley] You can't go out dressed like that.
- Hayley Smith: Don't worry. I'll be taking it off at art class where I'll be posing nude.
- Stan Smith: You'll do nothing of the sort.
- Hayley Smith: I'm late. Can we just cut to the key yelling points?
- Stan Smith: Fine. I forbid it. Not while you're under my roof. I didn't raise a hussy.
- Hayley Smith: It's my right as a woman. Nudity empowers me. There's nothing sinful about the female form. We done?
- Stan Smith: Yeah, we're done.
- Meter Maid: [When Stan beats up a meter maid for writing him a ticket] Please stop.
- Stan Smith: Sorry. I already started.
- Hayley Smith: Roger, you had no right coming to that class and sketching me.
- Roger the Alien: The subject telling the artist what he can and can't do? That's like a soup can telling Warhol where to buy speed.
- Kristy: Francine, I heard you bullied your way into the "Parade of Homes". Too bad you can't strong arm your house into looking presentable.
- Francine Smith: I think it looks okay.
- Kristy: Well, if you think "okay" is good enough then you're as stupid as your house is ugly. Oh, my God, I'm a bitch. Okay, vroom-vroom.
- [drives off in her car]