- Buzz Watson: You want me to go out there and pretend to be Lieutenant Tao?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Yes. Exactly.
- Buzz Watson: Do I have to over-explain everything?
- Mike Tao: Hey!
- Rodney Cox: You're Michael Tao?
- Buzz Watson: That's *Lieutenant* Michael Tao.
- Louie Provenza: He's adopted.
- David Gabriel: Excuse me, but where's the Chief?
- Andy Flynn: She's right over there.
- [Points to where she is lying down on the ground between two cars]
- Andy Flynn: I'd recognize those legs anywhere.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Do you wanna know my symptoms?
- Dr. Morales: Do you have insurance?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Yes.
- Dr. Morales: Then see your own doctor. If you end up dying, I promise to find out why.
- Will Pope: May I see you for a moment, please?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Well, I'm just about to head into an examination.
- Will Pope: Let me rephrase that rhetorical question: I want to speak with you - now.
- David Gabriel: [Wearing Hazmat suit] So, you're mad at me, is that it?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: No, I'm confused. I called you, and nobody answered.
- David Gabriel: [Exasperated] Do you see what I'm wearing here? Or did you not read the schedule I gave you this morning?
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Where'd you put it?
- David Gabriel: In your hand.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: Well, what was it? What'd it say?
- David Gabriel: It said that we were completing Weapons of Mass Destruction training tonight, that our division deadline is Friday the 26th, two days from now.
- Brenda Leigh Johnson: So that's all finished then?
- David Gabriel: No! No, we're not finished! We were 17 minutes short of finishing when you apparently demanded that we be sent to you. Now the whole squad has to start the training over again from the beginning.