Bonnie Franklin: Ann Romano

Quotes 

• Ann Romano : Oh Barbara, I really feel bad about your nose, you know that but you had six days worth of sympathy in which is rapidly turning into irritation.

  Barbara Cooper : That makes two of us.

  Ann Romano : It's not about your nose.

  Barbara Cooper : What else is there?

  Ann Romano : Plenty, I though you like yourself better than that. You got a lot more going yourself better than your looks, and you know it.

  Barbara Cooper : No I don't know it Mom.

  Ann Romano : Barbara you're a pretty girl, and the odds are that you'll always be a pretty girl, but even if you'll weren't there a lot of other things going for you.

  Barbara Cooper : I'm not so sure about that for instance I never even gotten a traffic ticket.

  Ann Romano : Excuse me.

  Barbara Cooper : Well I have been stopped for speeding, only once, okay twice, but the policeman never gave a me a ticket because it wasn't that I sparkling conversation.

  Ann Romano : All right Barbara the point of the matter.

  Barbara Cooper : The guy in the cafeteria always give me free cookies it's not because I'm a great wit.

  Ann Romano : Yes, but I still think.

  Barbara Cooper : Let's face it Mom, I get away with murder, and I like it.

  Ann Romano : Alright Barbara I don't think there's anything wrong with getting special attention as long as you don't depend on it to get bye.

  Ann Romano : But don't you see I have been depending on it, and I just didn't know how much. Do you know who Sally Henshaw is?

  Ann Romano : No I don't think so.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh well she's a girl at school, she's kind of plain looking, but sometimes I really envy her, I mean she has lots of friends, and she has lots of dates.

  Ann Romano : So do you.

  Barbara Cooper : That's different, Sally's nose has more to her than her looks, I'm not so sure, and when a guy asks me out I would like to know if it's me he really likes scary I may have to rely on something I'm not so sure that I have.

  Ann Romano : Well I guess I don't know you as well as I through I did. I want you to listen to me young lady you are one prized package, and I am more than a little staddle if you that.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh I will I admit it, so well anybody else. Oh my glasses.

  Ann Romano : Thanks!

  Bob Morton : Oh hi Ms. Romano

  Ann Romano : Hi Bob.

• Bob Morton : Stuff happens Mr Schneider you didn't mean it, it was the kinda thing I might do, and you know dumb.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I mean I'm an expert on industrial safety, care in the home you know, and this year at my union they gave me their annual award in safety and accident prevention.

  Bob Morton : The Sap award.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Yeah!

  Bob Morton : Oh look don't be so tough on yourself.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Bob it was my fault, I may have broke that kids nose, the helpless teenage female nose, soon brat was in the animal.

  Bob Morton : Don't worry you didn't mean to hit her, boy she sure been in there a long time.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Well Ms. Romano should be here any minute, I called on the phone, and left a message at the office. Oh it alright I didn't say anything to frighten her, and told her that you and I had brought Barbara over to Dr. Fairmont, and don't about the blood stains in the rug they come right out with cold water. What did I do to deserve this.

  Ann Romano : Oh ah what happen?

  Bob Morton : The doctor treating her right now.

  Ann Romano : What happen?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Ms. Romano please just promise me that your not gonna to hate me forever.

  Ann Romano : I don't hate you what happen?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I wouldn't do anything to hurt Barbara.

  Ann Romano : I know that.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I love Barbara.

  Ann Romano : We all love Barbara so what happen?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Okay okay, well do you Barbara's nose

  Ann Romano : Yes.

  Dwayne F. Schneider , Ann Romano : I bruise it, You bruise! I bent, bent, Bent!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I may have broken her nose.

  Ann Romano : Oh!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I open the door, and I didn't know that she was standing right there.

  Ann Romano : What? You idiot.

  Bob Morton : Ms. Romano don't panic we don't know for sure that it's broken.

• Dwayne F. Schneider : Yeah right it still might be all in one piece or two at the most. Oh!

  Ann Romano : Oh my god!

  Bob Morton : Hi Barb what's new.

  Ann Romano : She?

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : It's all right Ann, it's all right I got her pretty heavily sedated so she's comfortable.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Oh look what I did to her.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : Barbara let's just have a seat here.

  Bob Morton : Sit down right Barbara sit right here.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : There! There! Doctor is Barbara's nose is it bra bra bra broken?

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : No we took some x ray's the bone is not broken.

  Ann Romano : Thank god!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Thanks god!

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : However the cartilage was off center.

  Dwayne F. Schneider , Bob Morton : Eugh!

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : So I just molded the nose back in shape.

  Dwayne F. Schneider , Bob Morton : Eugh!

  Ann Romano : Mold, molded you just? hahahaha

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Now listen doctor is Barbara going to look different?

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : No I think she's going to be just fine.

  Ann Romano : What do you mean?

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : The chances are the nose will look just about the same, we can never be hundred percent sure about these things, and you bring her back next week will take a look at it.

  Ann Romano : Alright!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I'll be back, and I don't want to look at that.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : I want you to be very careful that she doesn't roll over on her face in her sleep, and we don't want to restart any of the bleeding that can leak into the sinuses.

  Ann Romano : Ah!

• Dwayne F. Schneider : Listen If she needs any blood I know a couple of guys that can give you all the blood you want.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : Look Ann uh make sure that she keeps those bandages on, and it's important that we avoid any impossibility of infected.

  Ann Romano : Alright! Alright!

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : To minimize is to get that prescription filled, and if there's anything else you wanna know or any questions don't hesitate to call me.

  Ann Romano : Okay thank you so much doctor, and can we go home now.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : Yes sure of course, Barbara it's alright to go home.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Easy does it.

  Ann Romano : Oh.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : That's alright darling your going to be just fine, and you just hang in there.

  Ann Romano : Thanks a lot doctor.

  Dr. Samuel Fairmont : Goodbye!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Thanks a lot Doc, well see you in a week, it was an accident, I didn't mean it you know, it was an accident, don't you understand, your sitting there, and your looking at me like I'm Woody Hayes. It was an accident say something, and why not.

  Woman : My daughters a lawyer.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Hi, don't worry Barbara it's Schneider.

  Woman : Come back to finish me off?

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Ah Barbara you don't know the torments I've been going through you know, and all last night I had these horrible nightmares you know. Like I close the elevator door on your neck.

  Ann Romano : Ah Schneider!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Then I take out all the trash, but I throw you in the truck.

  Ann Romano : Eugh! I didn't know.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Oh I'm waxing the floor right, and I look down and I'm sponging your nose back and forth.

  Ann Romano , Barbara Cooper : Eugh!

  Barbara Cooper : Oh Schneider I forgive you.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : You mean it.

  Barbara Cooper : Yes I mean it.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Okay I'll never wax your nose again, and I got a little something here for you. I cut it out of my window sill garden this morning. A little posie for the nosie.

• Ann Romano , Dwayne F. Schneider : No, no, no, not that kind of flower. What Woah! She's a allergic to that kind of flower. No No No! Ah ah ah tickled with the roof of your mouth. Push!

  Barbara Cooper : Au Au Au! Ha! Oh! Hah! Hah! Hah! Ga! Oh just leave me alone.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Wow that was close call.

  Ann Romano : Yeah!

  Dwayne F. Schneider : I don't know what was I thinking of in her condition it's like bringing roses to new castle. Well alright I got to get going Ah I'll see you later.

  Ann Romano : Nah!

  Bob Morton : Hi Mr. Schneider.

  Dwayne F. Schneider : Are you crazy for bringing flower to that girl. She's got a busted nose with an allergy right in the middle of it her head could have explode. Kids today give me that. Au Chew !

  Bob Morton : Gee Ms. Romano I almost killed Barbara.

  Ann Romano : No, no you didn't.

  Bob Morton : Ah How is our little patient doing anyways?

  Ann Romano : As well as can be expected.

  Bob Morton : Can I see her?

  Ann Romano : No Bob, she's not receiving any visitors today.

  Bob Morton : I'm not just a visitor, I'm her best friend, and I mean that we sat right next to each other in health.

  Ann Romano : Yes Bob, I know how close the two are you are, I just don't it's to wise that she anyone today.

  Bob Morton : I know what you thinking that i'll tack less, and say the wrong thing. But I'm Barbara's friend, and I'll love her even if her winds looking a ten car pile ups.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh hi Bob.

  Bob Morton : Oh hi Barb. Hey Barb it well be okay they work miracles in plastic surgery.

  Ann Romano : Thank you Bob!

  Bob Morton : They can take The Incredible Hunk, and turn him into Suzanne Somers.

  Ann Romano : That's a different kind of surgery Bob.

  Barbara Cooper : Do you have to stare at my nose.

  Bob Morton : I was never a really a nose man anyways, and I mean that men very rarely notice a woman's nose.

  Ann Romano : Even through I look like a cucumber.

• Bob Morton : Hey, what about the awards banquet, it's gonna to be kind of hard to read your notes over that thing.

  Barbara Cooper : I'm not going.

  Bob Morton : But you got to your trophy girl.

  Barbara Cooper : They can give it from me to Hattie.

  Bob Morton : Yeah, her nose could be on backwards, and nobody will notice.

  Ann Romano : Bob, okay gee whiz it getting real late, and I bet that you have to run home for dinner don't you.

  Bob Morton : Oh no Ms. Romano I can stay.

  Ann Romano : No you can't stay, Bob no can't.

  Bob Morton : Yeah Right, I can't.

  Ann Romano : Yeah Right!

  Bob Morton : Listen don't worry Barb, you nose will look great.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh Bob, please don't say anything at school okay, tell them I'm sick or something.

  Bob Morton : Okay would you like a picture to show your kids someday.

  Barbara Cooper : Mom!

  Ann Romano : Ah bye Bob, bye Bob, no no don't take any pictures you know.

  Bob Morton : Oh Cliff I know we had a date but I can't go to the awards banquet tomorrow , and look I have a very bad cold. No, no Cliff, I don't care what Bob told I did not become a nun. No, no Cliff, I don't want you coming over here it's contagious, look I got a sore throat, swollen glands, I got a rash.

  Ann Romano : An I got a back ache.

  Barbara Cooper : I got a back ache, and Cliff can I call you back later please thank you.

  Ann Romano : Darling, he gotta know what happen when you go back to school which hopefully be very very soon.

  Barbara Cooper : I am not going back to school with this splint between these two black eyes.

  Ann Romano : Oh Barbara, I really feel bad about your nose, you know that but you had six days worth of sympathy in which is rapidly turning into irritation.

  Barbara Cooper : That makes two of us.

  Ann Romano : It's not about your nose.

  Barbara Cooper : What else is there?

  Ann Romano : Plenty, I though you like yourself better than that. You got a lot more going yourself better than your looks, and you know it.

• Barbara Cooper : Okay!

  Bob Morton : See just me, an Chuck, an Dave, and Tiny.

  Chuck , Dave , Tiny : Hi Barbara!

  Barbara Cooper : Hi guys, I'm gonna to kill you Bob.

  Bob Morton : Barb, were hear because we love you, because these guys are from the football, the basketball, and baseball teams have a favor to ask you.

  Dave : Right, we want you to be our trophy girl.

  Barbara Cooper : No I cant.

  Bob Morton : But your the one the guys pick because they still want you.

  Barbara Cooper : With this dumb thing on my nose.

  Chuck : What thing, oh yeah, I see it now.

  Tiny : We gotta to learn to block with your shoulders, ha ha ha!

  Dave : Barb are you been putting us on, she looks like in good shape to me.

  Chuck : Yeah, her arms work.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh Chuck!

  Tiny : Her Mouth works.

  Chuck : Told you didn't have to bring us up here, she'll be at the banquet.

  Dave : Come on let's go.

  Barbara Cooper : No, no, I didn't say that I was going.

  Bob Morton : But they want you.

  Barbara Cooper : Oh you all are just being nice.

  Dave : Whose being nice, you sure have a short memory kid, remember when I broke my ankle sliding into second base, who always visited me at hospital.

  Chuck : Yeah, if haven't been for your tutoring I would have never passed advanced algebra.

  Tiny : Personally you have never done a thing for me.

  Ann Romano : Ha ha ha ha!

  Tiny : I just like it.

• Ann Romano : Ha ha ha ha!

  Bob Morton : We all like you.

  Tiny : Besides we need a few laughs at the banquet, you look pretty funny, ha ha ha ha.

  Barbara Cooper : Ah, okay if I'm in such demand.

  Bob Morton , Tiny , Chuck , Dave : Alright!

  Tiny : Girl!

  Dave : Will see you tomorrow.

  Chuck : Ah nice talking to you Ms. Romano

  Ann Romano : Yeah!

  Tiny : Bye!

  Bob Morton : See you guys.

  Tiny , Chuck , Dave : See you later.

  Tiny : Take it easy Bob.

  Ann Romano : Bye!

  Barbara Cooper : So Bob, thank you.

  Bob Morton : Hey, your my favorite person.

  Barbara Cooper : Were they just being nice or they don't care if I look funny.

  Ann Romano : What do you think?

  Barbara Cooper : I guess it doesn't matter, either way to them I'm okay.

  Ann Romano : Guess so.

  Barbara Cooper : Ha ha ha ha! Maybe I'll paint it red for the banquet.

  Ann Romano : if you put blue there, and then gold.