Gossip Girl (TV Series)

The Handmaiden's Tale (2007)

Leighton Meester: Blair Waldorf

Quotes 

• Chuck Bass : Little Jenny Humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it. Quite the accomplishment.

  Blair Waldorf : Good thing someone else at the party was as lecherous as you or you'd still be up on that roof. And, no, I don't wanna know what you had to do to get that tux.

• Blair Waldorf : Who does this Dan Humphrey think he is? Serena is putting up a strong front, but I can see how hurt she is. We have to help her heal her heart.

  Kati Farkas : But it's pretty late notice.

  Isabel Coates : Most of the good ones are already taken.

  Blair Waldorf : No more excuses. Serena must have the hottest date ever. If he's got plans he'll change them. If he's got a girlfriend he'll dump her and if he's out of town he'll charter a G5 and fly home. Make it happen.

• Nate Archibald : Alright Chuck I'll see ya in the a.m.

  Blair Waldorf : No, you didn't find me by midnight. No happily ever after for you.

  Nate Archibald : Blair, I'm sorry.

  Blair Waldorf : All I wanted was for us to start over and you didn't even try.

• Serena van der Woodsen : So Kati mentioned something about a custom-made corset, and I hear there are wigs involved?

  Blair Waldorf : It's a masquerade. You have to conceal your identity, but I do have something special planned for Nate tonight. It's a game. It's a scavenger hunt. Nate starts the night with a clue which leads him to a lady-in-waiting, who gives him a clue to the next lady..

  Serena van der Woodsen : Wait, hold on, you have ladies now?

  Blair Waldorf : If he finds me before midnight when the masks come off, he can claim his prize.

  Serena van der Woodsen : And what's that?

  [Blair looks at her seductively and wiggles her eyebrows] 

  Serena van der Woodsen : Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.

  Blair Waldorf : I just figured that after everything that's happened or hasn't happened, I should find some way to make it special.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Well, that's really romantic Blair, really. Look, um, if you don't want me to come tonight, I totally understand.

  Blair Waldorf : What? No, I want you to come, in fact I was hoping you'd be one of my ladies. Would you give Nate the last clue?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Are you sure you want me to?

  Blair Waldorf : Tonight is all about starting over. I trust you and him.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Well, then I would be honored to serve you, my queen.

  [the girls laugh] 

  Blair Waldorf : Well, besides, you're bringing Dan, right?

• Serena van der Woodsen : I know him. A masked ball? Dan would never wanna go to something that pretentious where he has to wear a mask and a tux.

  Blair Waldorf : He likes you. He would wear a tux and a mask and one of my mother's dresses if it meant that he could go out with you. Come on, why are you worried that he already has a date? I mean, he is Dan Humphrey.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Shut up. I dunno, I guess a masked ball is better than a regular party because all those kids from school that he hates, he won't even recognize them.

  Blair Waldorf : Alright, invite him, I insist.

• Jenny Humphrey : Well, that's all of it.

  Blair Waldorf : Thank you so much. I don't know what I would've done without you.

  Jenny Humphrey : That's okay, yeah, it was fun.

  Blair Waldorf : I'm glad. It's all part of your education and it looks like you're learning. That's a nice bracelet. Vintage, right? The diamonds look real.

  Jenny Humphrey : That's cause they sort of are. The man at the store lent it to me.

  Blair Waldorf : Why would he do that? Oh, oh, sweetie, you didn't think you were gonna be able to come tonight, right?

  Jenny Humphrey : I thought, maybe... yeah.

  Blair Waldorf : Jenny, freshmen don't get to go to the masked ball. It's just tradition.

  Jenny Humphrey : No, I know, it's just that there were five dresses...

  Blair Waldorf : You always need backup. I mean, what if I spilled something or a zipper broke?

  Jenny Humphrey : Yeah,of course, I'll, I'll remember that. Have fun tonight.

  Blair Waldorf : I will, and don't worry, your time will come, I promise. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready.

• Eleanor Waldorf : That's outstanding.

  Blair Waldorf : Is it a bong, Mother?

  Eleanor Waldorf : Please.

  Blair Waldorf : I didn't take you for a stoner.

  Eleanor Waldorf : It's a hookah and it is adorable. It's perfect for my Moroccan-themed party.

  Blair Waldorf : Why do you have to celebrate your Bendel deal by turning our penthouse into an opium den?

  Eleanor Waldorf : [shrugs]  Why not?