Women's Murder Club (TV Series)

Grannies, Guns and Love Mints (2007)

Laura Harris: Jill Bernhardt

Quotes 

• [discussing Lindsay's reaction upon not recieving an invitation to Tom's wedding] 

  Tom Hogan : I mean, she barely got through our wedding.

  Jill Bernhardt : It really wasn't her fault, was it?

  Tom Hogan : I guess not. My family can be a little... Trying.

  Jill Bernhardt : A little? Your brother stuck his bare ass in the wedding cake.

  Tom Hogan : But, in his defense, it had been cut.

  Jill Bernhardt : Goodbye.

• [discussing the death of an old woman] 

  Claire Washburn : Nice vacation, good last meal, couple drinks on the plane, and you doze off during end-flight movie. Not a bad way to go.

  Cindy Thomas : I hope I go in my sleep.

  Jill Bernhardt : I want to go on top of Clive Owen. You die your way, I'll die mine.

  Lindsay Boxer : I don't want to die, period. Why are we even talking about this?

• Jill Bernhardt : I think somebody doesn't want to talk about it because it went a lot better than she wants to let on.

  Cindy Thomas : Did it go a lot better?

  Lindsay Boxer : Oh, alright, you got me. It might have been the best date I've ever been on. We had an unbelievable dinner, and we talked until they closed the restaurant, and then we went home and had sex all night, and I really and truly believe that this guy is the one.

  Cindy Thomas : Oh, defensive sarcasm. It went well.

  Jill Bernhardt : Very well.

  Lindsay Boxer : It did not go well. It did not go anything. Why do you even care?