- Stephen Colbert: There was one high-profile Brit who did meet with Trump today: Brexit party leader, and pug who just heard your car in the driveway, Nigel Farage.
- Stephen Colbert: Trump was also slated to meet with several other British politicians while he was over there, and there's one in particular he likes: Pro-Brexit MP, and man whose hairdresser is a raccoon... Boris Johnson.
- Stephen Colbert: Scientists have created the loudest possible sound underwater. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there: Don't let *anyone* tell you a career in science has to be useful.