- Ricky Stratton: Derek, did your parents have any kids after they had you?
- Derek Taylor: No.
- Ricky Stratton: Think about it.
- Edward Stratton III: Son, everybody has perfect images of the way they want things to be. Sometimes - a lot of times - things just don't turn out the way we want 'em to. There's even a word to describe that.
- Ricky Stratton: What is it?
- Edward Stratton III: Life.
- Edward Stratton III: [Leonard points out that he can't go skiing, because there's no snow] C'mon, Leonard, they've got snow up in Canada. We could fly up to Banff.
- Leonard Rollins: Banff?
- Edward Stratton III: Yeah, it's a great ski resort.
- Leonard Rollins: I bet I know how it got that name. When skiers fall off a cliff, that's the sound they make when they hit bottom.
- Edward Stratton III: [Edward can't convince Leonard to go skiing with him] C'mon, Leonard, you're being unreasonable.
- Leonard Rollins: Listen, I'm an indoor kinda guy. I was born indoors, I plan to die indoors. It's my contention that if God had meant for people to be outside, he wouldn't have given us windows.
- Edward Stratton III: If God had meant for people to be inside, why'd he give us thermal underwear?
- Leonard Rollins: Simple. So we can sleep with the windows open.
- Ricky Stratton: Dad? How come this camping trip didn't turn out like I wanted it to? I mean, everything went wrong. No campfire. No fish, no cocoa, no stars. No nothing.
- Edward Stratton III: Rick, I had my own image of what this camping trip would be like. Unfortunately, it turned out exactly the way I imagined.
- Ricky Stratton: Thanks for making me stick it out, Dad. I really want to earn them badger paws.
- Edward Stratton III: Well, I want you to have them badger paws.
- Ricky Stratton: You know, I just thought of another good thing. We learned from our mistakes. We'll be more prepared next time we go camping.
- Edward Stratton III: Yes, we will... Next time?
- [lastlines]