- Ethel Davis: [during the Sandwich Quiz] Why was TV weatherman Michael Fish in a hot spot yesterday?
- [neither contestants answer]
- Ethel Davis: Anybody know what the answer is? He got locked in his office for two and a half hours and nearly missed the lunch time forecast, but he's right as rain.
- Billy Connolly: How boring!
- Harry Stern: Have you noticed? Most people paint the town red on a Saturday, don't they? Me? I'm painting a GPO bike red. Depressing, isn't it?
- Hazel Edwards: Ethel, can I have a private word, please, love?
- Ethel Davis: Oh, we've got no secrets, have we chaps?
- Super Sleuth: No, none at all
- Harry Stern: No, no, this is the Eighties, we can, we can express ourselves.
- Hazel Edwards: Very well then. David Taylor would like to go to the loo. So will you please go upstairs and unlock the door and let your cousin out?
- Ethel Davis: Box room: up the stairs and left, up the stairs and left, up the two little stairs and right.
- Enid Davis: You know, as a matter of fact we're having a heat wave in Australia at the moment. The sheep are dropping like flies, and the flies don't look too good either.
- Harry Stern: I've got a confession to make.
- Neil Buchanan: What?
- Harry Stern: Ethel got more than one nomination.
- Neil Buchanan: How do you mean?
- Harry Stern: Well... I threw the others in the bin.
- Neil Buchanan: [gasps] So did I...
- Harry Stern: You didn't?
- Neil Buchanan: I did! Hey, that means she would've won.
- Harry Stern: Oh blim- oh, well, it's just as well we threw 'em away then, innit?
- Neil Buchanan: Yeah, it is. Cor...