- Robin: [the guy she's dating has a kid] Why is this kid around anyway? Shouldn't he be with his mother? I mean, what kind of lawyer does this guy have if he has to take care of the kid all the time?
- Lily: A good one. He won full custody.
- Robin: [surprised] He won?
- [confused]
- Robin: He won? Oh god, getting the kid is winning, isn't it? Don't tell anyone I said that.
- Ted Mosby: Even when you were a kid you hated kids.
- [flashback]
- Four-Year-Old Katie: Robin, will you watch cartoons with me?
- 11-Year-Old Robin: I spend all week at school. Can't I just have some time alone to read my Highlights and drink my juice?
- Ted: Robin hates kids.
- Robin Scherbatsky: I don't *hate* kids!
- Ted: Well, you don't want to have any.
- Robin Scherbatsky: I like sports cars, but I don't want to push a Ferrari through my vagina.
- Barney: Shotgun!
- Ted Mosby: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: People with real game don't need eyepatches.
- Barney Stinson: Oh, Theodore. No, no, no.
- [calmly removes eyepatch]
- Barney Stinson: You can't spell 'game' without 'me', and 'me' has the best game.
- Ted Mosby: Yeah? Well, I have so much game, I'm a Cornish game hen.
- Barney Stinson: Oh, yeah? I have so much game, I'm New York gaming commissioner.
- Ted Mosby: Well, I'm *The* Game, well-crafted, keep-you-guessing thriller starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn.
- Marshall Eriksen: [to Robin] You can't blame us for thinking the kid would be a problem. I mean, if we were friends with Garfield, we wouldn't set him up on a date with Mondays.
- Lily Aldrin: I can't believe you got dumped by a six-year-old.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Whatever. He was just a stupidhead.
- Barney Stinson: Ted, I challenge you to a dating Olympiad. 26 games over 11 days, we'll go to a neutral city...
- Ted Mosby: Or we each date someone and first one to score wins.
- Barney Stinson: That works too.