- Ted: Alright, I'm ready. Let's hit it.
- Marshall: Can't go. Tournament.
- Ted: What so you mean? I suited up!
- Barney: You take too long to get ready.
- Ted: What are you talking about? I got that low maintenance, just rolled out of bed look.
- Marshall: Yeah, which takes an hour and a half of waxing, tugging and teasing to achieve.
- Barney: And then he starts on his hair. Ace!
- Robin Scherbatsky: I'm not shaving my legs for the first three dates. If I don't shave, I don't misbehave.
- Barney Stinson: FYI, men don't care. They just want to get to the green, they don't mind going through the rough.
- Marshall Eriksen: Why wasn't I told for the belt? I can go for the belt!
- [Barney, Lily and Ted laugh]
- Marshall Eriksen: If Lily woulda' die before me, then I could ride tricycle!
- Lily Aldrin: If I die, I would just come back and haunt your penis...
- Robin Scherbatsky: I need a razor.
- Lily Aldrin: What happened to not shaving until the third date? Where are your convictions?
- Robin Scherbatsky: They were surgically removed by Doctor Awesome.
- Barney Stinson: The real Wimbledon lasts a fortnight.
- Marshall Eriksen: British words are cool. Also, their lawyers wear wigs. I wore a wig at work once and they laughed at me.
- Ted Mosby: It's a tricycle.
- Barney Stinson: No way!
- Marshall Eriksen: What happened?
- Barney Stinson: It's a tricycle.
- Marshall Eriksen: No way!
- Lily Aldrin: What happened?
- Marshall Eriksen: It's a tricycle.
- Lily Aldrin: I'm telling you now, all sorority girls are sluts.
- Barney Stinson: I can't let you do this, Ted.
- Ted Mosby: Why not?
- Barney Stinson: Because the belt is my birthright. You can't ride the tricycle before me. It's like Jimmy Olsen beating Lex Luthor while Superman watches impotently in his bed.