- Ann Romano: [trying to settle a spat between Schneider and Max] Awww, Schneider, can't you see the boy envies you? You're a bachelor. Married men always envy a bachelor's total freedom.
- Barbara Cooper: That's right, Schneider, you can do what you want, when you want, how you want.
- Dwayne F. Schneider: Well, I can do 'what' and 'when', but the days of 'how' are long gone.