- Stan Smith: [Roger has just walked in on Stan and his mother in the bath] What do you do when your mom's unhappy/Jerry's left her feeling crappy/sing her a shanty nice and snappy/wash her in the bathtub/wash... wash... wash your veejay, scrub, scrub, scrub your veejay/rinse... rinse, rinse your veejay/next we'll do your tushie/wash... wash... wash your tushie/scrub... scrub... scrub your tushie/rinse... rinse... rinse your tushie/we just did your tushie!
- Haylee Smith: Klaus, What's wrong?
- Klaus: Oh, nothing, it's just... I haven't felt the touch of another person in six years!
- Haylee Smith: Oh, you poor thing. Here.
- [picks him up]
- Haylee Smith: [Klaus is rubbing into her hands, trying to infect her with ich] Fish can't get herpes, can they?
- Steve Smith: Everyone? You told me you hadn't been touched in 6 years.
- Klaus: Yea, and you took the hundred dollars. No one's a saint here.