Irene Ng: Shelby Woo

Quotes 

• Shelby Woo : I've been packing my lunch lately. I'm just nervous, I guess because of what happened at my school cafeteria. I mean we used to kid that the food there was bad, well last week it was downright dangerous. See if you can pick the right suspect from the menu.

• Shelby Woo : I polled all the kids in the hall, and the one thing they all ate was hot dogs.

  Noah Allen : Oh man, I had like 11 of those.

  Cindy Ornette : 11 hot dogs?

  Noah Allen : Yeah, well they were plain and there was no bun or ketchup.

  Cindy Ornette : 11?

  Noah Allen : There was wagering involved, ask Tim.

  Tim : We paid a dollar a dog.

  Noah Allen : I think I'm gonna explode.

  Cindy Ornette : Better not explode on me. Lean that way, Noah

  [shoves him and knocks him off the desk] 

• Celeste Jasmine : Tim! How could you?

  Shelby Woo : Ms. Jasmine, it wasn't Tim's fault, it was the hot dogs.

  Celeste Jasmine : I know that, that's why I'm so upset! Tim knows that we never eat meat, especially hot dogs! Who knows what they put in those?

  Tim : Mom, please!

  Celeste Jasmine : Now just last night, I was at the PTA meeting lobbying to take meat off the school menu, and today my own son does this!

• Shelby Woo : Detective Hineline says that the hot dogs may have been bad when they arrived at the school, but I think it was probably a deliberate act. There are too many suspicious clues: the freezer was broken into, and the hot dog box was open.

  Noah Allen : But didn't the manager say the plastic seal wasn't even broken? I mean doesn't that mean that the hot dogs weren't tampered with?

  Shelby Woo : Maybe they tampered with the pots that the hot dogs were boiled in.

  Noah Allen : Yes! And you know who would've done that? Big Betty, the dishwasher lady, she is, she's scary. I mean you ever see the way she glares? I've thought for years that she secretly hates kids.

  Cindy Ornette : That is so mean. Betty Shakerford has good reason to glare at those kids, they're always handing her trays heaped with mashed potato art or plates glued to the trays. And what about having to scrub pots in scalding water?

  Shelby Woo : Yeah, if I were her, I would definitely hate kids.

• Mike 'Grandpa' Woo : How are your suspects sizing up?

  Shelby Woo : Well there's Big Betty the cafeteria dishwasher.

  Mike 'Grandpa' Woo : Ah, Shelby, Big Betty?

  Shelby Woo : Oh, I don't call her that, Grandpa, but the kids at school give her a hard time, maybe she wants to get back at them. And then there's Tim's mom, you know Ms. Jasmine? She thinks eating meat is a crime.

  Mike 'Grandpa' Woo : You should've seen her at the PTA meeting the other night, ooh!

  Shelby Woo : But there's also Earl Cummings, since he lost the hot dog account with the school, he had reason to make Joy-Boy brand look bad. Although I'm not sure how he would've gotten into the cafeteria and broken into the freezer without anybody noticing.

  Mike 'Grandpa' Woo : Well sometimes the delivery guys get keys to the early stops on their routes.

  Shelby Woo : Oh yeah, he mentioned he was making a delivery at 6 A.M. I have to call Cindy.

  [gets up] 

  Mike 'Grandpa' Woo : [laughs]  6 A.M., she'll never make it.

• Noah Allen : [locked in the cafeteria freezer]  What're we gonna do?

  Cindy Ornette : We could freeze to death!

  Shelby Woo : Or run out of air!

  Noah Allen : Which one do you think will happen first?

  Shelby Woo : Well when we get out we can check the owner's manual, come on, we better jog to keep warm.

  Cindy Ornette : Wait a second, if we run we'll use up more oxygen!

  Shelby Woo : Well we have to do something!

  Noah Allen : I hate exercise, maybe we can all, I don't know, snuggle?

  [Shelby and Cindy glare at him, starts jogging in place] 

  Noah Allen : I don't know how long I can keep this up.

  Cindy Ornette : Maybe if you'd cut back on the junk food you'd be in better shape.

  Noah Allen : What are you, the Surgeon General?

• Noah Allen : [locked in the cafeteria freezer]  What time do the kitchen staff get here?

  Shelby Woo : I think one of them is already here. The hand that pushed me back in had a latex glove on, a glove just like the kitchen ladies wear.

  Noah Allen : Yes! Yes! I know, it's Big Betty! She frightens me.

  Cindy Ornette : She must've been hiding here and when we were getting close to some evidence, and she wanted us out of her way!

  Noah Allen : She probably wants to get put us out of her way for good! In fact, she's probably outside right now sharpening up a big meat cleaver so she can come in here and chop us all up and put us into Monday's meatloaf!

  Cindy Ornette : I want to be a vegetarian!

  Shelby Woo : Big Betty may hate kids, but I doubt she

  [door opens, they turn and scream]