- Lily van der Woodsen: [to Serena] Don't leave your dirty package on the table.
- Chuck Bass: If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that...
- Bart Bass: Chuck, that's enough.
- Blair Waldorf: How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?
- Serena van der Woodsen: Because I'm nice. You should try it. Come on, compliment me. Tell me my hair looks beautiful!
- Blair Waldorf: But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today?
- Serena van der Woodsen: [banging on bathroom door] Chuck, I'm serious! Are you done yet? This is my bathroom!
- [inside, he's lighting up]
- Serena van der Woodsen: It's late, and not to mention disgusting!
- [pounds some more]
- Serena van der Woodsen: Chuck!
- [gains entry]
- Serena van der Woodsen: What are you doing?
- Chuck Bass: All right, ladies, my sister needs a shower, make room.
- [Serena gives him a sharp disapproving look]
- Chuck Bass: I'm just messing with you.
- Serena van der Woodsen: I can't believe you lit up in my bathroom!
- Chuck Bass: Well, if I lit up in mine, then my folks will know it was me, sis.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, okay, let's get one thing straight: our parents may be insisting on blending our households, but I am not your sister, I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
- Chuck Bass: Then I suggest you get new hand towels.
- Rufus Humphrey: Blair said... they told you the original party had fallen through... so that they could surprise you with a better one.
- Jenny Humphrey: Blair's a liar. You got played.
- Rufus Humphrey: She also said that you were afraid the... girls wouldn't accept everything about you. She knew you were wrong... and she wanted you to feel like you had nothing to be ashamed of. Was that a lie too?
- [no answer, he sighs]
- Rufus Humphrey: Where did you get the dress? And I know you didn't make it, because your sewing machine is gone!
- Jenny Humphrey: [shakes her head, sniffles] You have no idea how hard it is, Dad. I sold my sewing machine, okay?
- Rufus Humphrey: What?
- Jenny Humphrey: Yeah, and a lamp, and some jewelry.
- Rufus Humphrey: Why?
- Jenny Humphrey: Because I had to! Dad, you think that you can just send me off to school with a plaid skirt and a MetroCard and everything will be okay.
- Rufus Humphrey: I am not apologizing... for not having a private plane for you, Jenny.
- Jenny Humphrey: [shakes her head] You think I'm ashamed of where I come from?
- [tearfully:]
- Jenny Humphrey: No, Dad, what I'm ashamed of is having... to bring a brown-bagged lunch to school, and, you know, eat it in the bathroom, and then go out with my friends and pretend that I'm not hungry when I go to lunch with them.
- Rufus Humphrey: You don't have to do those things, Jenny. You're making a choice.
- Jenny Humphrey: [sobs] What don't you get?
- [shakes her head]
- Jenny Humphrey: You want me to choose to have no friends? Well, clearly, I mean, that's not even a choice anymore, because that's just done!
- [rushes away]
- Dan Humphrey: [finds Jenny lying in bed] Hey. You okay? You wanna tell me why you wanted to borrow eight thousand dollars?
- Jenny Humphrey: Not really.
- [props herself up]
- Jenny Humphrey: I can't believe Nate told you.
- Dan Humphrey: Well, he was worried about you... that you might be turning into some hideous, upraised cyborg.
- Jenny Humphrey: [concerned] He said that?
- Dan Humphrey: No, no. I did.
- Jenny Humphrey: [smirks ruefully, wipes tear from eye] I got in way over my head. You know, I thought I could... trade the dress. Wear it for a night and return it. I just...
- [shakes her head]
- Dan Humphrey: Look... it's your birthday... so I think we should get some ice cream... and we can talk about all this stuff later, okay?
- Jenny Humphrey: Okay.
- [smiles]
- Dan Humphrey: I'll just let Dad know what we're gonna do.
- [before going:]
- Dan Humphrey: Jen, you, you have so much more to offer... than the things that those girls have. Really, you've got so much more to bring to the table. You just need to find a way to believe that.
- [rubs her shoulder]
- Dan Humphrey: Okay?