How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

The Platinum Rule (2007)

Josh Radnor: Ted Mosby

Quotes 

• Ted Mosby : Well, I'm sick of all the rules! There are too many of them. The Hot-Crazy Scale, The Lemon Law, The Platinum Rule. If everyone in the world followed every one of your rules, human race would cease to exist. Yes, chances are Stella and I are not gonna live happily ever after. The overwhelming odds have it ending badly. And when that happens, it'd be from a million possible reasons. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. And when it does fail, so help me God, it's not gonna be because of some "rule". P.S., you just made my hair look awesome. Good night.

• Barney : My Own Bar. I can't hit on women in my own bar. Remember the old Barney? He was a lion. The king of the jungle. Stalking whatever prey he chose. Going in for the kill.

  Ted : You've got a whole meat locker at home full of corpses, don't you?

  Barney : Now look at me. Declawed, neutered. What was once my jungle is now my zoo and I am forced to mate with the same old lioness... again and again while families pay to watch.

  Ted : Yeah this metaphors really falling apart

  Barney : Put a bell around my neck and scratch my belly kids... for I am just a docile house cat now. Meow

• Ted Mosby : [about his butterfly tattoo]  Take a good look, guys. Get ready to kiss it goodbye.

  Lily Aldrin : Oh, Ted. Now how will we know you're a stripper from Vegas with daddy issues?

• Barney Stinson : You've heard of the Golden Rule, "Love Thy Neighbor"?

  Ted Mosby : Actually, the Golden Rule is "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Done To You" It's from a little thing called The Bible?

  Barney Stinson : Ted, dude! I had this whole thing where the Golden Rule is "Love Thy Neighbor", so bear with me, okay? You know the Golden Rule, but what you don't know is that there's a rule above it, The Platinum Rule: You can love your neighbor, but under no circumstances do you ever, ever, ever, ever *love* thy neighbor.

• Ted Mosby : [Year 2005]  If you screw up Wendy the Waitress, you're going to kill the bar.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Bar killer.

  Marshall Eriksen : Don't kill the bar, dude.

  Barney Stinson : Yeah, well, I think it'll be ok.

  Barney Stinson : [Back at 2006]  And it was a huge mistake.

  Marshall Eriksen : Yeah, well, I think it'll be ok.

  Lily Aldrin : [Back at 2007]  And it was a huge mistake.

  Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah, well, I think it'll be ok.

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Present day]  And it was a huge mistake.

  Ted Mosby : Yeah, well, I think it'll be ok.