- Frank Caliendo: [as George Bush] See I'm fine with Gay Marriage. That's where the audience gets quiet. As long as it's a gay man marrying a gay woman, or a gay woman marrying a gay man, but to me your parts have to match up. You can't plug a lamp into a lamp.
- Frank Caliendo: [as Bill Clinton] But it's fun to see those two outlets together.
- Frank Caliendo: [as John Madden, drawing a tangent] What he did was he went off on a tangent over there. You know what a tangent is.
- Frank Caliendo: [as George Bush] I love tangerines! They're my favorite fruit!
- Frank Caliendo: Clinton was so smooth it was sickening. He could get up in a room full of people and be like:
- Frank Caliendo: [as Bill Clinton] I am not here. I don't know what you're lookin' at, but it's not me because I am not here.