- Carly Shay: [entering the room] Hey, Spencer.
- Freddie: [at the same time as Sam] What's up?
- Sam Puckett: [at the same time as Freddie] Hi.
- Spencer: Hey, little sister and her two friends who never seem to hang out at their own homes.
- [first lines]
- Sam Puckett: Okay, Freddie's never late for iCarly. Are you worried?
- Carly Shay: If I wasn't worried, would I be drinking water with this expression on my face?
- [drinks water with a frantic expression on her face]
- [on the iCarly webcast]
- Carly Shay: Hello. You've reached iCarly.com.
- Sam Puckett: If you're looking for comedy...
- Carly Shay: - press one.
- Sam Puckett: If you're looking for my pork pot pie, a cop ate it!
- Carly Shay: [looking through binoculars] Ok, I don't see any criminal activity but I do see a jogger who really should be wearing a bra. Poor guy.
- Detective Tragg: [holds up badge] Detective Tragg, Seattle Police Department.
- Sam Puckett: [thinking she'll be arrested] Freddie, take my backpack.
- [hands it to him]
- Spencer: Uh, what can I do for ya?
- Detective Tragg: I'd like to talk with the kids.
- Sam Puckett: [loudly] You can't prove anything!