- Robin Scherbatsky: He was my first boyfriend. Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He smelled like Drakkar. He could ollie on a skateboard. And he had the most amazing collection of Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts. Ah... we spent the whole summer madly in love.
- Barney Stinson: Tell me more. Tell me more. Like did he have a car?
- Barney Stinson: Now, come one, pa-cow, you're the most awesome person I have ever known, well, the second most awesome.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Right, of course, the first being you.
- Barney Stinson: No, no, the first is this guy who lives in a place called the mirror, what-up.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [at the Bar] Barney, do you wanna come back to my place?
- Barney Stinson: Your place?
- [Robin leans in and whispers in Barney ear; Barney looks shooked]
- Barney Stinson: [in Robin's house, Robin playing with her hair like a 16 year old girl]
- Barney Stinson: Are you sure you wanna do it?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Yeah I am. Let's just not tell anyone about it.
- Barney Stinson: Of course. So should I just put it in?
- Robin Scherbatsky: Yeah, why not?
- [opens a video tape and puts it in the VCR]
- Barney Stinson: I'm sorry, I've seen "Let's Go To The Mall" about a thousand times, and you sir, were not in it.
- Simon: I was in the other one.
- Barney Stinson: There's another video?
- [Runs out]
- Marshall Eriksen: Did he - and I'm trying to put this as delicately as possible - did he take your maple leaf?
- Robin Scherbatsky: No, nothing like that.
- Barney Stinson: Did he give you your first O Canada face?
- Narrator: This went on for quite a while. Some were sophisticated and elegant...
- Lily Aldrin: Were the two of you really Inuit?
- Narrator: Some were crude and ill-formed...
- Ted Mosby: Something about bear traps.
- Narrator: And some were obvious and needed to be said.
- Barney Stinson: Did you ride his zamboni?
- Marshall Eriksen: No, I think I'm all out.
- Ted Mosby: Me too. I'm all out. Now I'm out.