- Marshall Eriksen: Okay, today's category, classic westerns that involve red cowboy boots. Robin.
- Robin Scherbatsky: The good, the bad and the fabulous.
- Lily Aldrin: The magnificent Kevin.
- Marshall Eriksen: No country for straight men.
- Ted Mosby: How was your day?
- Lily Aldrin: I screamed at a little girl for painting a rainbow.
- Ted Mosby: Oh. It sounds like the bitch had it coming.
- Robin Scherbatsky: I really like this painting. It's neat. The colors are neat, the shapes are neat, the overall painting is... neat.
- Lily Aldrin: I'm going to give you a Lily Aldrin original, because you're such a good husband. I'm thinking of calling it, "Suck it!"
- Abby: You know what I hate most about Ted?
- Barney Stinson: What?
- Abby: His hair. His lame, awesome hair. It's so stupid and awesome.
- Ted Mosby: Clarify something about your critique. Do you think the colors are neat or neato-burrito?
- Robin Scherbatsky: At least I'm not wearing red cowboy boots.
- Ted Mosby: I'm pulling them off!
- Marshall Eriksen: I already made a website. Marshall-and-Lily-sell-their-stuff.com.
- Lily Aldrin: No, you know what would be a better name? Guy-forces-his-wife-to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag-for-the-next-three-years.com
- [Types it in]
- Lily Aldrin: It already exists.
- Ted Mosby: That woman is really wearing a garbage bag.
- Marshall Eriksen: But honey, you cannot pull off a tall kitchen.
- Lily Aldrin: I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress.
- Robin Scherbatsky: A two-syllable "damn." That's the dream.
- Lily Aldrin: Yeah. Now she belongs to... CanadaGirl@MetroNewsOne.com.
- [Looks at Robin]
- Robin Scherbatsky: It's still in the family!
- Barney Stinson: Why are you doing this to me?
- Abby: You slept with me and then left.
- Barney Stinson: And?
- Abby: And that's it.
- Barney Stinson: That's it? If I leave you on land with adequate transportation, you should consider yourself lucky.
- Abby: [after having sex with Barney] I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted".
- Barney Stinson: I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby"
- Abby: I am Abby!
- Abby: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Barney Stinson: I think so.
- Abby: You're thinking about having sex with Ted?
- Ted Mosby: Everyone has something in their closet they don't wear.
- Ted Mosby: I don't.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Really, red cowboy boots?
- Ted Mosby: I pull those off.
- Marshall Eriksen: Hey, Lil, if I said, "Ted cannot pull these off" what would I be talking about?
- Lily Aldrin: His red cowboy boots.
- Lily Aldrin: Painting for sale! $500! Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! It's like they don't even see us.
- Vendor: Yeah, we're dirt to them. What do you need money for?
- Lily Aldrin: Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors in my new apartment. You?
- Vendor: Heroin.
- Lily Aldrin: Oh. Do you like heroin?
- Vendor: Love it. In fact, if you sell that, I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin.
- Lily Aldrin: Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy.
- Dr. Greer: Something about your art speaks to the canine sensibility on a very primal level.
- Lily Aldrin: Really? Dogs like my paintings?
- Dr. Greer: Yeah. But you know who it bums out? Birds. Yeah. Had a parrot in there today. He took one look at it, pried open his cage, flew right into the ceiling fan.
- Barney Stinson: Excuse me, did I sleep with you and then screw you over?
- Woman: I don't think so.
- Barney Stinson: Dammint! In that case, would you like to go out?