Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
If My Hole Could Talk (2008)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : I don't know why you continue to bang your head against the wall. The kid's obviously destined to sell tube socks from the back of his car.
Alan Harper : A business of his own. Gee, that'd be swell.
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Charlie Harper : [after Jake screws up yet again] I'll bet you're sorry you took all that LSD before you had him.
Alan Harper : I never took any LSD.
Charlie Harper : You might want to start telling people you did.
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Angie : If a child doesn't grow up in a nurturing environment, he develops a big hole inside that can never be filled.
Charlie Harper : Oh, I have such a big hole. If my hole could talk.
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Jake Harper : I might have to write a book report for Monday.
Alan Harper : What do you mean you might have to write a book report?
Jake Harper : I mean, if there's no earthquake by Monday morning, I have to write a book report.
Alan Harper : Oh, God. So, what's the book?
Jake Harper : William Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew". By William Shakespeare.
Charlie Harper : Hey, that'll come in handy when he's moppin' out the toilets at the House of Pancakes.
Jake Harper : Y'know, I could go for some pancakes.