- Joe Waters: [coming home in tennis clothes] Let this be a lesson to you, young lady. Always be alert. Tennis is a demanding sport. If you were mentally prepared, you would not have gotten hurt. Respect tennis and it will respect you.
- Penny Waters: We never played. You slammed my finger in the car door!
- Lou Waters: [later, Lou comes in while Joe is treating Penny's injury] What's with the ice?
- Penny Waters: Oh, they're having me frozen until someone discovers a cure for heredity.
- Kelly Hall: I was just talking to Mr Standish.
- Joe Waters: The undertaker?
- Kelly Hall: Yeah. A terrible thing happened. Some kids stole his hearse and took it for a joyride... with one of his clients in the back.
- Joe Waters: Did the police recover it?
- Kelly Hall: Oh, yeah, but there was a chase, and the coffin slid out on I-95.
- Joe Waters: That's awful.
- Kelly Hall: I'll say. It was the second time in a week Mrs Colucci got hit by a bus.