Barbara Flynn: Jill Swinburne

Quotes 

• Trevor Chaplin : [Referring to Jill and Helen of Tadcaster]  I'm fancied by two women! Question: Is this a record? Answer: You bet it is!

  Jill Swinburne : [Reproaching herself]  I've been competing for a man!

  Trevor Chaplin : Question: Do you want me?

  Jill Swinburne : I'm not sure.

  Trevor Chaplin : Do you want Helen to have me?

  Jill Swinburne : Like hell I do!

• Jill Swinburne : [Being driven in Trevor's van through the town's outskirts]  Who is the greatest authority on the environment in this area?

  Trevor Chaplin : [Teasing]  How many guesses do I get?

  Jill Swinburne : Me, you soft pillock!

  Trevor Chaplin : [Feigning surprise]  Oh!

  Jill Swinburne : Ace environmentalist and the Earth's best friend. Undefeated champion!

  Trevor Chaplin : [Driving past yet another row of demolished, uncleared houses]  If you're so good at the environment, how come it's in such a mess?

• Trevor Chaplin : [Returning to Jill's house, despite their trial separation, after discovering that Big Al has stored 'a few items' in his small flat]  I don't mind using the spare room but I'd be deeply grateful if you'd allow me to stay the night.

  Jill Swinburne : What the hell is going on?

  Trevor Chaplin : There's a refrigerator in my bed!

• Trevor Chaplin : [Jill's meeting took longer than expected and Trevor couldn't find anywhere to park his van]  Seventeen times I drove around the Town Hall!

  Jill Swinburne : [Protesting]  The last two times I was standing there waving at you!

  Trevor Chaplin : I was in a daze by then!

  Jill Swinburne : [Sarcastic]  So what's new?

• Jill Swinburne : [Referring to Helen of Tadcaster, who wants Trevor for herself, despite he and Jill having reunited]  I give you fair warning, Mr Chaplin: if you get engaged to that girl, I insist you move into the spare room!

• Jill Swinburne : [Performing introductions]  Sergeant Hobson, this is Helen of Tadcaster, my rival in love. And Mr Chaplin, whom you know.

  Det. Sgt. Hobson : Good evening. It's Mr Chaplin I want to see.

  Trevor Chaplin : [Humorously]  Here I am - take a good look!

  Det. Sgt. Hobson : [Serious]  It's rather more than that.

  Jill Swinburne : [to Trevor]  Take your shirt off, love!

• Trevor Chaplin : [about to be led away by Det. Sgt. Hobson, Jill proffers a pamphlet]  What's this?

  Jill Swinburne : Citizens' Guide. How to behave if you get busted. Civil liberties, all that kind of thing.

  Det. Sgt. Hobson : Of course, yes - you're into that kind of thing, aren't you?

  Jill Swinburne : Yes, right in it - and so will YOU be if you step one centimetre out of line!

  Det. Sgt. Hobson : Mr Chaplin, perhaps you'd just confirm with witnesses that you are coming with me voluntarily.

  Trevor Chaplin : [Jill and Helen of Tadcaster are competing for Trevor]  Might as well. Nothing on telly and if we talk, it turns into an argument over my body!