- Ted Mosby: So, how many people are in on this Party School Bingo thing?
- Barney Stinson: Oh, it's just me.
- Ted Mosby: So what's the point, then?
- Barney Stinson: The point is to get five in a row.
- Ted Mosby: And what do you get when you get five in a row?
- Barney Stinson: I get Bingo.
- Ted Mosby: We should buy a bar.
- Barney Stinson: Of course, we should buy a bar!
- Ted Mosby: We should totally buy a bar.
- Barney Stinson: We should totally buy a bar. Our bar would be awesome. And dude, dude, dude, dude... the name of our bar... Puzzles.
- [Ted is astonished by the proposition]
- Barney Stinson: People will be, like, "Why is it called Puzzles?". That's the puzzle!
- Barney Stinson: We're not the "We love your music, let's sleep together" guys. We're the older guys whose approval they now crave.
- Ted Mosby: So, we're their dads?
- Barney Stinson: Exactly.
- Lily Aldrin: [Lily calls Marshall while he is with clients] Hey, baby. It's lunchtime, and I love you.
- Marshall Eriksen: I reciprocate in principle, although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end.
- Lily Aldrin: No, I love you more.
- Marshall Eriksen: Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out?
- [pause]
- Marshall Eriksen: Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need to adjust my briefs.
- Ted Mosby: Please, just keep the bar open a little longer. We'll close for you.
- Carl: You two? No way! You don't know the first thing about running a bar.
- Barney Stinson: Serve the hotties first?
- Carl: Here's the keys.
- Marshall Eriksen: I'm sorry, Robin. You're not a robot. I mean, if you are, you're like an incredibly advanced model and humanity doesn't stand a chance.
- Amanda: Thank God you're open.
- Melissa: I don't know if you've seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth outside.
- Ted Mosby: Dibs.
- Amanda: It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad, before he left.
- Barney Stinson: And dibs.
- Ted Mosby: So, uh, can we warm you up with a drink?
- Melissa: Sure. Oh, uh, by the way, I invited the rest of the band to come and meet us.
- Amanda: We were hoping to get drunk. I mean, really drunk... like my dad used to.
- Barney Stinson: Dibsity! Dibsity Dibsity!
- Barney Stinson: Let's go, people! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I've always wanted to say that. I mean, in a bar. I say it all the time at home.
- Barney Stinson: "Totally! Awesome!" College girls sound so stupid.
- Ted Mosby: Totally.
- Barney Stinson: Awesome.
- Robin Scherbatsky: Okay, these little rituals, telling each other what you ate, they're childish. You're like children playing house.
- Marshall Eriksen: You know why you don't like them? It's because you've never been in a relationship long enough to develop them.
- Robin Scherbatsky: What?
- Marshall Eriksen: You don't understand love. You're like a robot who asks someone who's crying "Why is your face leaking?"
- Robin Scherbatsky: Okay, robot initiating parking-on-the-curb-until-jackass-apologizes sequence. Beeb-bob-boop-beep-booooop!
- Marshall Eriksen: Okay, my robot was like a million times better.
- Robin Scherbatsky: I still say this is stupid. What happened to, "As we mature, the relationship matures with us?"
- Marshall Eriksen: That's just something Lily read in Psychology Today. Alright, she read it in Cosmo. Alright, I read it in Cosmo. Alright, it was CosmoGirl!
- Lily Aldrin: [With a six pack of...] Aspen Yards Ale, get it?
- Marshall Eriksen: Actually, no.
- Lily Aldrin: Me, neither. I was hoping you would.