- The guys find out that Barney is pretending to have a wife and son to make his mother happy, but the charade is blown when Ted makes a move on Barney's "wife."
- Barney's recent behavior makes the gang believe he is hiding a girlfriend from them. When they follow him to what they think is a rendezvous with her, they end up at the home of Loretta Stinson, Barney's mother, where they meet Barney's wife and son, Betty and Tyler. In reality, "Betty" and "Tyler" are both actors who Barney hired. Margaret has been playing the role of Betty for seven years. To grant Loretta her dying wish of her sons being with someone they loved - Loretta who was on her deathbed at the time (and who obviously survived that ordeal) - Barney hired Margaret to play his fiancée to fulfill that wish. When Margaret, going off script, stated that she was pregnant, Barney eventually had to produce a son Tyler, who in his current incarnation is played by Grant. The already convoluted plot is made even more so when everyone catches Ted making out with "Betty". Ted has to use some of the improvisation skills he learned from actress Margaret to get them all out of this mess. But will Ted's acting skills be able to do the trick, and will the others be able to follow his lead? Meanwhile, while watching Barney deal with his mother, Marshall learns something about Lily's relationship to his mother. And Robin has a "moment" with Grant, or so he hopes.—Huggo
- The gang is immediately suspicious when Barney skips out on hitting on a hot girl. Reexamining some of Barney's earlier behavior, they begin to suspect he is in a committed relationship (when they ask Barney where he is going he replies beach, home, laser tag, shut up and you are going somewhere all in quick succession. So they follow him to a house in Staten Island. There they find that Barney has been hiding a woman from them: his mother, Loretta Stinson (Frances Conroy). But the bigger shock comes when they are joined by his wife Betty (Marieve Herington) and son Tyler (Donovan Dustin).
The gang is shocked by the syrupy sweet family. Once his mother is out of earshot, Barney explains that Betty and Tyler are actually actors he hired to play his family. Years ago, when Loretta looked like she was going to die, Barney hired an actress, Margaret, to play his fiance, Betty (who announces to Loretta that she is preggers). When his mother miraculously got better, Barney was forced to keep up the ruse and cast Grant to play his son. For sometime he got by with babysitting his neighbor's baby at his house, but eventually had to hold auditions for the part of Tyler.
The gang learns that in all the motivational movies, Barney is rooting for the antagonist. In the karate kid, Barney roots for the mean blonde boy (Johnny Lawrence from the Kobra Kai Dojo). In Die Hard he roots for Hans Gruber, a charming international bandit. In the end, he died hard. The teacher is running detention in The Breakfast Club. He is the only guy in the whole movie wearing a suit. Terminator, well what's the name of the movie?
Ted bonds with Margaret as they discuss acting and Robin bonds with Grant discussing their troubled careers (Grant hates playing Barney's son. Robin's morning talk show airs at 4: 30 in the morning. Grant thinks Robin had a nose job). Meanwhile, getting to know Loretta, Marshall decides the "sweet, caring, slightly too graphic" woman (Loretta claims she was a whore in her young days. She admits to having sex with perfect strangers in gas station bathrooms and never seeing them again) deserves to know the truth. When Marshall claims that Loretta reminds him of his own mother, Lily admits that she hates Marshall's mother. Judy told Lily that she will not be with Marshall forever, as he is going to heaven (implying that Lily is headed for hell).. Marshall runs away saying that he hates Lily.
After a slightly awkward dinner where Barney has written a script for Betty (who tells the story of how Barney proposed to her) and Tyler, the gang walks in on Ted and Margaret kissing in the kitchen. Barney tries to ad-lib a confrontation to preserve the deception but is startled when Ted creates his own story (Ted accuses Barney of seducing his fiance in 1999, who was also blind, by pretending to be Ted. Ted slaps Barney tightly across the face to make his point), after his discussion about acting with Margaret. Robin meanwhile congratulates Grant on his improvised performance in the kitchen and the two share an awkward moment on the porch. Grant tries to kiss Robin and she backs off.
Barney eventually yields and confesses the whole story to his mother (after claiming that Tyler is dying and once he goes Betty will off herself). Loretta is surprised but forgiving. She admits that she hates Betty and Tyler and even Barney's "fake friends." Loretta reminds Barney that she once led a promiscuous lifestyle to rival his own (she once left Barney with a babysitter and spent 3 weeks on a railroad being passed around like a bong). She explains that she merely wants Barney to be happy and urges him to pursue love when it crosses his path. Robin comes in and tells him the cab's here. Barney tells his mom he'll try.
In the cab ride home, Lily comes to terms with Judy Eriksen (Suzie Plakson) on the phone for Marshall's benefit. What Marshall doesn't realize is that Margaret and Ted are on the other end of the line. Marshall cries.
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