NCIS (TV Series)
Love & War (2009)
Cote de Pablo: Ziva David
Photos
Quotes
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Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : You have to tell him the truth!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Maybe. Not until I'm absolutely sure lying won't work.
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NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : It's like I said, "it's always the maid."
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : No. You have said "It's always the janitor, or the butler, or anyone assigned to Abby's lab." But you have never *once* said "maid."
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Anyone ever tell you, your memory can be a real buzz-kill?
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[McGee has hooked up an old "Beary Smiles" toy to his keyboard]
Beary Smiles : Hi, there! I'm Beary Smiles! You're my best friend, McGee!
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Thank you, Beary.
Beary Smiles : You're very welcome!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : All right, one more time and I'm going to rip that Bear's head off... AGAIN!
Beary Smiles : Gear up, DiNozzo! Got a body at Quantico!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Don't mess with me!
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : That bear sounds very familiar.
Beary Smiles : Ya think, David? DiNozzo, bag and tag! David, witness statements! McGee, I ever tell you how brilliant you are?
NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee : Oh, Beary...
Beary Smiles : I love you, McGee.
[Noticing Tony and Ziva's looks, McGee looks over his shoulder and sees Gibbs glaring at him. He types again]
Beary Smiles : Sorry, Boss.
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Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : It is nice to see a couple with so much in common. Like McGee and his new sorceress friend.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Oh, yeah. I was actually gonna talk to you about that. Let's see, how do I put this delicately? She, uh... she's not real.
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : You did *not*.
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I did. I was bored, it was late, I'd just watched "Weird Science." Next thing I knew, I was building a fake online profile and IMF'ing McGee.
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : He really likes her, Tony! You have to tell him!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I know... but it's actually kind of flattering, in a creepy way.
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NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : [on his phone] I already rebooted the system, Frank! *Twice*!
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : [on her phone] Four hours! That is how long I have waited for your cable repairman, four hours!
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : No, I will not reboot it again! I will never reboot it again!
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : Reschedule? So you can waste another Saturday?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : Just admit that you have no idea how to fix the problem, and we can both get on with our lives!
[They slam their phones down at the same time]
Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : Someone will die today.
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Ziva David, Mossad Liaison : What did you think would happen?
NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo : I didn't know! The flaw in the plan... was the plan. But I got another plan to end it.