Family Guy (TV Series)

Ocean's Three and a Half (2009)

Patrick Warburton: Joe Swanson

Quotes 

• Joe Swanson : Guys... put the money back and get outta there.

  Peter Griffin : What? Are you out of your mind?

  Joe Swanson : Tell him, Megatron.

  Megatron : Do as I command!

  Peter Griffin : Okay, okay, jeez.

• Dr. Hibbert : [Bonnie Swanson is in labor]  Okay, Mrs. Swanson, you're almost there. Push! Push!

  Joe Swanson : Get outta there! Get the hell outta my wife, you little bastard!

• Joe Swanson : I don't know, Peter. We've been out here all day and we haven't managed to interest a single woman in our massage parlor.

  Peter Griffin : Wait a minute, here comes somebody. Excuse me, stressed-out lady. May I interest you in a full-release relaxation massage?

  Woman on street : Oh, yeah. Just what I need: To be rubbed down by a big fatty, an old black guy, a cripple and a pervert.

  Cleveland Brown : Now we don't have any money, AND our feelings are hurt.

• Joe Swanson : Guys! Bonnie's going into labor! We gotta get her to the hospital! Quick, Peter, get the car!

  Peter Griffin : No way! I don't want pregnant mess in my back seat.

  Cleveland Brown : Oh, come on. You're the guy who soiled his pants while test driving that sports car.