- Big Mike: You know what's a sure sign to prove you're cool? Having awesome facial hair.
- Mariya: But some of us can't grow facial hair...
- Big Mike: You're not trying.
- Mariya: Well, I have big boobs, and that's pretty cool.
- Big Mike: Then I'm still cool, because I'm packing both.
- Ryan: Wouldn't that then make Santa Claus the coolest one of all?
- J. D.: Hell, yeah, man; I'm down with the Claus.
- Ryan: I like Santa Claus, because he brings you presents. Unless you've been bad; then he brings you coal.