Arlo the Alligator Boy (2021 TV Movie)
Michael J. Woodard: Arlo the Alligator Boy
Photos
Quotes
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Marcellus : There was nowhere to hide. Every day they came, little faces smashed up against the glass... Greasy, horrible faces. STICKY HANDS!
[Alia and Furlecia freak out]
Marcellus : Some, they'd come back! Week after week, month after month, they'd just... stare and eat. Children are monsters. All of them.
[pause]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : I came from the swamp!
Marcellus : That's right, kid. We all came from the swamp.
-
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Bertie, you seeing this? This tiny train is all tricked out!
Teeny Tiny Tony : Hey, hey, you got him! Thank you very much for your services, young green man. Now, where's my bag of cash?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Oh! We gave it back to those loud farm people. Turns out, they were still angry after they got it back.
Teeny Tiny Tony : Ba-gooh-ma mia!
[stomps his hat in frustration]
Bertie : Hey, leave the kid alone! He's just a naïve and confused and misguided and lost little alligator boy. Okay?
Furlecia : And I'm just a giant hairball. Doesn't mean I don't need money, honey.
Bertie : Okay, so we gave back your stolen money.
Furlecia : How dare!
Alia : Hey, we're just trying to survive, lady! I'm a tiger. Look at me. You think I can work at a coffee shop? No, no. I can't.
Bertie : I get it. More than you know.
[Furlecia feels remorseful]
Teeny Tiny Tony : Okay. Well, why don't you get the fact that we were about to be rich and your kid messed it all up!
Furlecia : [elbows him] Knock it off, Tony. He doesn't mean it. Deep down, he's a real softie. And what's your name, sister?
Bertie : I'm Bertie, and this here is my uh...
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Friend! We're best friends! I'm Arlo.
Furlecia : I'm Furlecia, this is Teeny Tiny Tony, and Alia up front is our driver.
Alia : [giggles and swerves a bit] Oh! And I'm on my learner's permit, by the way. But, uh, I'm super good, so don't worry about a thing.
[starts batting at a toy hamburger hanging from her rearview mirror]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Oh, that sounds safe.
-
Bertie : Arlo, what happened with your dad?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : My so-called "dad"... well... turns out he doesn't want me. Now I don't even know who I am. And I probably never will.
[crawls behind a boardwalk post]
Bertie : You are the most genuine person I've ever met.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : That's just a nice way of saying I'm different.
Bertie : Because of you, I think that different is the best thing someone can be.
[Arlo peeks out]
Bertie : When I was a little kid, I was just like everyone else. But as I got older, I just never stopped growing. I still remember the moment that I've realized that people no longer looked me in the eyes. And eventually, I guess I... closed the door on ever letting anyone in. And then you, Arlo Beauregard...
[grabs Arlo by the hand and hugs him]
Bertie : You came crashing right through it. You're the first person that's ever treated me like a real friend.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : That's 'cause you're my best friend.
Bertie : [sighs] Best friend in the whole world.
Marcellus : [bursts out of a freezer door] GET A ROOM!
[stammers]
Marcellus : Share your feelings...
[stammers]
Marcellus : In private. Sorry.
-
Ansel Beauregard : You don't get it, do you? You showing up here like this, it puts everything I've worked so hard for at risk.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : No, I *do* get it. I risked everything to be here.
Ansel Beauregard : [pauses and looks back with a smile] You're a pretty tough kid, aren't you?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : I guess I've gotten that way.
[pause]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Listen, Mr. Beauregard. If you don't want anything to do with me, that's fine. I'll leave you alone. But I just wanna know the truth, so I can stop thinking about it all the time.
[pleadingly]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Are you my dad?
[Ansel turns and looks Arlo in the eyes]
Ansel Beauregard : Arlo, I'm...
[the moment is interrupted by the arrival of Ruff, Stucky and the Beast]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Uh...
Ansel Beauregard : Say, what's the big idea, fellas? We're working on an emotional breakthrough here!
Ruff : We just come for the gator boy.
Stucky : That's right. Yeah, we prefer to be outta touch with our emotions.
[Both proceed to stalk up on Arlo]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Dad?
Ansel Beauregard : [stammers a bit] Arlo...
Ruff : [holds out a taser at him] Stay back, now!
Stucky : [puts the taser down] Mister, if you want him back, I'm sure we can work out a price. But what will you want with a real, live alligator boy?
[long pause]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : It's okay. You don't have to. I don't belong here.
[surrenders himself as Ruff points his taser at Ansel]
Ruff : That's what I thought.
[the Beast roars at Ansel; Arlo is taken away]
Ruff : Back to the swamp with you, little buddy! You're gonna make us rich!
Stucky : Got a nice, fun little cage for you.
[whistles for the Beast, who follows them out]
Ansel Beauregard : What have I become...?
-
Ansel Beauregard : [finishes up Better Life] Arlo, if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that sometimes you have to change if you're ever going to make it in this world.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Change? Wait, what?
Ansel Beauregard : I hope this lesson will help you. It's all I can do for you.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Well... I just thought since I came all this way to meet you, that you'd be happy to see me. You... are my dad, right?
Ansel Beauregard : I'm... No, I'm sorry.
[Arlo is crushed; he is sent down the elevator]
Butler : Everything all right, sir?
Ansel Beauregard : Oh, uh... Just another kid from the foundation.
-
Arlo the Alligator Boy : How's everybody doing on this fine, swampy day?
[a turtle shrieks and hides in its shell, pulling baby and all; an alligator hisses]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Must be shedding season.
[lapsing into song]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Do any of you care to join me in a song?
["song" echoes out]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Well, you're about to...
[begins singing More More More]
-
Ansel Beauregard : Arlo, if you'll give me another chance, I'd love to have you stay with me.
[Arlo gasps in delight, but looks back and fourth at his friends and Ansel with trepidation]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : I appreciate it, Dad, I really do.
[goes over to his friends]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : But I've got a whole new family now. And, well...
[joins them for a group hug]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : We need each other.
Ansel Beauregard : Cool. Cool. No, no, that's cool. Not like I'm desperately lonely or... anything.
Furlecia : Get into this hug, gorgeous!
[pulls Ansel into the hug; the crowd cheers happily]
Ruff : You know, we traveled all this way just to put that gator boy in a cage. But frankly, I had no idea we'd learn all this stuff about the human experience!
Stucky : I never knew you could learn.
Ruff : Dang it, Stucky. I love you!
[hugs Stucky]
Stucky : Aww...
-
Bradley Alouicious : Sandra June, you ever wonder if there's more in this world? Stuff nobody's ever seen before?
Sandra June : Well, now, I can't imagine what that might be.
Bradley Alouicious : Neither can I.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [sticks his mouth against the windshield] Neither can I!
[Sandra June and Bradley scream and flee the car in horror]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Are you guys going to New York City?
Bradley Alouicious : Just... JUST TAKE THE CAR, MAN!
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Rickety biscuit! Folks outside the swamp sure are generous! I like it.
-
Ansel Beauregard : [revealing his true form] That's right! I'm a birdman!
Someone in the audience : I love birds, man!
Ansel Beauregard : And there is something else you should know. This amazing young man...
[holds up Arlo's hand]
Ansel Beauregard : Is my son!
[audience gasps]
Ansel Beauregard : And I have forsaken him.
[Arlo is surprised]
Ansel Beauregard : I have wronged you, Arlo, by trying to bury my past.
[Flashback to young Ansel in Seaside by the Seashore]
Ansel Beauregard : As you know, I grew up in Seaside by the Seashore. It was all right back then. Still poor, but it had a certain dignity.
[gets ridiculed by four kids]
Kid Bully : Watch where you're going, bird boy!
Ansel Beauregard : The kids were another story.
Kid Bully : Hungry, eh?
[throws birdseed in Ansel's face]
Kid Bully : Look at his scrawny little legs!
Kid Bully : Yeah, eat your seed!
Kid Bully : Hey, Ansel! Next time we'll get you some nice bread pieces if you promise not to poop on my dad's car!
[Ansel flies away in anguish]
Ansel Beauregard : They were mean little twerps.
[shows Ansel as a teenager hiding his bird appearance]
Ansel Beauregard : I swore right then that I'd hide my true self, and dedicate my life to accumulating wealth and power, hoping that one day, I'd be powerful enough to tear it all down.
[Shows Ansel through the years arriving in Manhattan, becoming a successful businessman, receiving the key to his penthouse, meeting the woman who would become Arlo's mother, and ending at Bellevue Hospital on the night of Arlo's birth]
Ansel Beauregard : But then, something happened that... threatened to expose my very existence...
[shows Ansel witnessing the newborn Arlo]
Ansel Beauregard : My son was born. And... I made the biggest mistake of my life...
[flashback ends]
Ansel Beauregard : When I let him go.
[breaking down]
Ansel Beauregard : Forgive me... my wonderful alligator boy.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [sniffs, crying tears of joy] DAD!
[happily embraces Ansel as the crowd cheers]
-
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [Sees Marcellus staring at the fire with a blank look on his face] Are you staying up late, Marcellus?
Marcellus : [stammers, snaps out of it] What do you need, kid? Can't you see I was sleeping?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : With your eyes open?
Marcellus : I'm a fish. It's what we do.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Oh. Well... good night, then.
[pause]
Marcellus : Thank you for saving me from the tank.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Any time.
Marcellus : [freaking out] NO! Never again...
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Oh... okay.
Marcellus : Yeah, okay.
-
[repeated line]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Rickety-biscuit!
-
Teeny Tiny Tony : Here you go, kid, the address of one Ansel Beauregard, hot off the streets!
[hands Arlo the address, who gasps]
Bertie : So... where is it?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [still smiling] I... I don't know.
Teeny Tiny Tony : It's uptown!
[points to a subway that reads "Subway Uptown"]
Teeny Tiny Tony : Way uptown!
[shows sign above reading "Way Uptown"]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [enters the subway with the others; singing] Gonna find my dad / Gonna make him proud / Gonna hug him good / Gonna talk real loud!
Marcellus : You don't have to sing everything you're thinking, you know?
-
Ansel Beauregard : I don't mean to be impolite, but... you see how this is a pretty improbable situation, right?
[Arlo shows the ID bracelet from the hospital]
Ansel Beauregard : What is this?
[pauses]
Ansel Beauregard : I don't know how you got this, but there's been a mistake. A huge and very terrible mistake.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : That's what I thought! It had to have been a big old mistake that I ended up floating all the way down from New York City to the swamp!
Ansel Beauregard : Yes. I mean... no! My son... My son is gone.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : But...
Ansel Beauregard : I am not your father!... I can't be.
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [gulps] You have to be, I have nowhere else to go! And I came all this way.
-
Furlecia : [gets stabbed by a hoe] Oh, no! I've been straight-up stabbed in my love handles! Oh!
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Ticklin' toads, not the love handles!
-
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Who are you?
Bertie : I'm the reason you aren't being turned into a handbag right now
Ruff : [as he and Stucky stand] Ooh-hoo! Now, we got a two-for-one!
[Bertie growls; Arlo pokes her in the cheek]
Arlo the Alligator Boy : Boop-boop. Hello?
Bertie : Hmm?
Arlo the Alligator Boy : [fascinated] You look like an angel.
Bertie : No squirming.
