Photos
Quotes
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Freddie Benson : You put a dead fish in my locker, I handcuffed you to Gibby. Now we're even.
Carly Shay : Yay. Who wants lemonade?
[Sam yanks him by his shirt]
Sam Puckett : I don't play to get even. Mama plays to win.
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Carly Shay : [after Gibby screams and runs out of Carly's apartment after being handcuffed to Sam] Like Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with!
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Foot : [Carly is watching a video of a foot with lips] Hey! Hey! I'm not here for your entertainment! I'm a foot! Leave me alone!
Carly Shay : Oh, foot.
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[Carly and Sam walk into Carly's apartment]
Spencer Shay : Hey, where've you guys been.
Sam Puckett : A movie.
Carly Shay : We saw "The First Kiss."
Spencer Shay : Eww. How was it?
Sam Puckett : Same as every other stupid teen chick movie ever made.
Carly Shay : It made me embarrassed to be a teen chick.
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Carly Shay : [to Freddie] You pulled a prank on Sam?
Freddie Benson : Uh-huh.
Carly Shay : What, are you tired of living?
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Carly Shay : [to Freddie about Sam] You handcuffed her to Gibby?
Freddie Benson : She put a dead fish in my locker.
Sam Puckett : Gibby's way worse than a dead fish.
Gibby : My mom thinks I'm awesome.
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Carly Shay : [to Spencer] Do you really wanna be a Seattle Cobra?
Spencer Shay : Yes, with all my heart.
Carly Shay : Okay. Then I'm gonna motivate you.
Spencer Shay : Huh.
Carly Shay : You're gonna start by building up some muscle.
Spencer Shay : I have muscles.
Carly Shay : Do you?
Spencer Shay : Yes.
Carly Shay : Then, take off your shirt and jump up and down.
Spencer Shay : I don't want to.
Carly Shay : Why not?
Spencer Shay : 'Cause I'll jiggle.
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Carly Shay : [to Freddie] Who was your first kiss?
Freddie Benson : I haven't had my first kiss.
Carly Shay : Oh, shut up.
Freddie Benson : I've never kissed anyone.
Carly Shay : But what about that rotten girl you dated last year, Valerie? You kissed her, right?
Freddie Benson : No. Well, for like half a second at school with a bunch of other kids hanging around, but, no, I've never had a real kiss.
Carly Shay : Oh. Well, I think it's kind of sweet that you haven't kissed anyone yet.
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Sam Puckett : [to Carly] Hey, sorry I'm late.
Carly Shay : You're always late.
Sam Puckett : So? It's cool. The show doesn't start for three more minutes. Where's Fredweird?
Carly Shay : Freddie's not coming.
Sam Puckett : What? Okay. He stayed home from school all week, he missed two iCarly rehearsals and now he's gonna miss the show? That's so unprofessional.
Carly Shay : You really hurt him. Every time he leaves the house, he gets teased 'cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone. You know, he won't even talk to his mom. He just sits on the fire escape alone 'cause he's too embarrassed to see anyone. You like ruined his whole life and you don't even care.
Sam Puckett : All right. I'll go apologize.
Carly Shay : It doesn't even matter if you apologize, kids are still gonna give him a hard time 'cause you can't take back what you said.
Sam Puckett : Look, I didn't mean...
Carly Shay : You went too far this time and you can't fix it. We got to start the show.
Sam Puckett : Well, how can I do the show, now that you made me feel all depressed?
Carly Shay : I don't know. Just get in front of the camera and do it.
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Sam Puckett : Carly and I are about to have our very first...
Carly Shay , Sam Puckett : Meatball war!
Sam Puckett : We have our slingshots.
Carly Shay : And a hundred meatballs.
Sam Puckett : But before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly, I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone. And that was really personal and I shouldn't have said it on the show. And for all you people out there who've been teasing Freddie about it, lay off, 'cause I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either, including me. Yeah, that's right. I've never kissed anyone. So, if you wanna tease someone about it, tease me, which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital.
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Sam Puckett : You guys all know our technical producer, Freddie. Show yourself to the people, Freddie.
Freddie Benson : Hello.
Sam Puckett : That was Freddie who last week handcuffed me to a nerd. So now guess what? Freddie has never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly is a witness. Okay, later.
[walks off]
Carly Shay : Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life.
[Freddie drops his camera and looks shocked]
