Photos
Quotes
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Freddie Benson : You put a dead fish in my locker, I handcuffed you to Gibby. Now we're even.
Carly Shay : Yay. Who wants lemonade?
[Sam yanks him by his shirt]
Sam Puckett : I don't play to get even. Mama plays to win.
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Freddie Benson : [makes a short laughing-type noise]
Sam Puckett : What?
Freddie Benson : Nothing. It's...
Sam Puckett : Tell me!
Freddie Benson : Nah, it's dumb.
Sam Puckett : Say it!
Freddie Benson : Okay. I was gonna say...
Sam Puckett : That we should kiss?
Freddie Benson : You're going to break my arm now, right?
Sam Puckett : [shakes her head] No.
Freddie Benson : Well... should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?
Sam Puckett : Hm. Just to get it over with.
Freddie Benson : Just to get it over with.
Sam Puckett : And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over with.
Freddie Benson : Oh, totally, and we never tell anyone.
Sam Puckett : Never.
[pause]
Sam Puckett : Well, lean.
[Freddie sighs, then he and Sam kiss each other]
Freddie Benson : Well, that was...
Sam Puckett : Nice.
Sam Puckett : Yeah, nice, uh...
Freddie Benson : Good work.
Sam Puckett : Thank you. You, too.
[Sam turns around to leave]
Sam Puckett : Hey.
[Sam turns back around; Freddie smiles]
Sam Puckett : I hate you.
Freddie Benson : [makes a short laugh noise and smiles at Freddie] Hate you, too.
[leaves]
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[Carly and Sam walk into Carly's apartment]
Spencer Shay : Hey, where've you guys been.
Sam Puckett : A movie.
Carly Shay : We saw "The First Kiss."
Spencer Shay : Eww. How was it?
Sam Puckett : Same as every other stupid teen chick movie ever made.
Carly Shay : It made me embarrassed to be a teen chick.
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Carly Shay : [to Freddie about Sam] You handcuffed her to Gibby?
Freddie Benson : She put a dead fish in my locker.
Sam Puckett : Gibby's way worse than a dead fish.
Gibby : My mom thinks I'm awesome.
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Sam Puckett : [to Carly] Hey, sorry I'm late.
Carly Shay : You're always late.
Sam Puckett : So? It's cool. The show doesn't start for three more minutes. Where's Fredweird?
Carly Shay : Freddie's not coming.
Sam Puckett : What? Okay. He stayed home from school all week, he missed two iCarly rehearsals and now he's gonna miss the show? That's so unprofessional.
Carly Shay : You really hurt him. Every time he leaves the house, he gets teased 'cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone. You know, he won't even talk to his mom. He just sits on the fire escape alone 'cause he's too embarrassed to see anyone. You like ruined his whole life and you don't even care.
Sam Puckett : All right. I'll go apologize.
Carly Shay : It doesn't even matter if you apologize, kids are still gonna give him a hard time 'cause you can't take back what you said.
Sam Puckett : Look, I didn't mean...
Carly Shay : You went too far this time and you can't fix it. We got to start the show.
Sam Puckett : Well, how can I do the show, now that you made me feel all depressed?
Carly Shay : I don't know. Just get in front of the camera and do it.
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Sam Puckett : Carly and I are about to have our very first...
Carly Shay , Sam Puckett : Meatball war!
Sam Puckett : We have our slingshots.
Carly Shay : And a hundred meatballs.
Sam Puckett : But before we start our meatball war, I wanna say something. On the last iCarly, I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone. And that was really personal and I shouldn't have said it on the show. And for all you people out there who've been teasing Freddie about it, lay off, 'cause I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either, including me. Yeah, that's right. I've never kissed anyone. So, if you wanna tease someone about it, tease me, which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital.
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Freddie Benson : [to Sam] That was really brave what you said.
Sam Puckett : You heard?
Freddie Benson : You didn't think I'd miss "iCarly."
Sam Puckett : I'm sorry about telling people you never kissed anyone, and about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle, and about sending your cell phone to Cambodia... everything, okay?
Freddie Benson : So this means you're not gonna mess with me anymore?
Sam Puckett : No, I'm still gonna mess with you. I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again.
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Sam Puckett : You guys all know our technical producer, Freddie. Show yourself to the people, Freddie.
Freddie Benson : Hello.
Sam Puckett : That was Freddie who last week handcuffed me to a nerd. So now guess what? Freddie has never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly is a witness. Okay, later.
[walks off]
Carly Shay : Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life.
[Freddie drops his camera and looks shocked]
