iCarly (TV Series)
iGive Away a Car (2009)
Nathan Kress: Freddie Benson
Photos
Quotes
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Carly Shay : What's wrong with you, Nevel? Why is your lifelong dream to get rid of "iCarly"?
Nevel Papperman : It's not. My lifelong dream is to open my own haberdashery.
Freddie Benson : What is a haberdashery?
Nevel Papperman : Oh, why does everyone ask that?
[walks off and then turns around]
Nevel Papperman : A haberdashery is a men's retail shop that sells men's accessories such as wallets, hats, buttons, belts, ribbons, and zippers.
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Carly Shay : [Nevel, Spencer and LCC Inspector Bullock are waiting outside the LCC building when Carly, Sam and Freddie arrive in the modified Space vehicle prop] Here you go Nevel.
Sam Puckett : Congratulations winner.
Nevel Papperman : [Scoffs] What, and you think that rolling space turd will get iCarly off the hook?
Carly Shay : Yeah.
Sam Puckett : We think it will. Carly, would you say that this vehicle is "unique"?
Carly Shay : Oh it is clearly unique. Freddie has it ever been state registered?
Freddie Benson : Why no Carly, it hasn't.
Carly Shay : Mr Bullock?
LCC Inspector Bullock : If it can travel at a speed of at least 25 miles per hour, it technically qualifies as a new car
Nevel Papperman : [Sceptical] Well let's just see, let's just see if this thing can do 25.
[Gets in]
Nevel Papperman : Okay.
[starts engine and vehicle zooms off with Nevel screaming and then crashes off screen]
Nevel Papperman : .
Carly Shay : You think he hit 25 miles per hour?
Spencer Shay : Oh yeah.
LCC Inspector Bullock : You can't do that kind of damage to a flower shop unless you're doing at least 25.
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Jeffrey : See, my dad wants the contest to be a brain buster. You know, something you really got to figure out.
Freddie Benson : Oh, like how many of Sam's relatives are on parole?
Sam Puckett : Hey, don't go banging on my Aunt Maggie, cousin Garth and Uncle Morris, all right?
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Carly Shay : [to Jeffrey] So, we challenge our viewers to figure out the brain buster and then the first person who sends in the right answer wins the car?
Jeffrey : Yup.
Carly Shay : Love it.
Sam Puckett : It'll get iCarly a lot of buzz.
Freddie Benson : Oh, yeah. Isn't your Uncle Buzz on parole too?
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Carly Shay : [to Freddie as she hands the envelope with the answer for the contest] Here, why don't you lock this in your jewelry box.
[Everyone looks at Freddie]
Freddie Benson : My mom wanted a daughter, okay?
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Freddie Benson : [to Spencer] Hey. I thought you said this is one of the actual proton cruisers used to film "Galaxy Wars."
Spencer Shay : It is.
Freddie Benson : No, it's not.
Spencer Shay : Yeah, it is.
Freddie Benson : No, it's not.
Spencer Shay : Okay. And you're lying. What makes you lie?
Freddie Benson : I'm not lying.
Spencer Shay : Yeah, you are. Feel like a big boy telling your big boy lies?
Freddie Benson : Spencer.
Spencer Shay : Yes, little Larry Lies-a-Lot?
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Nevel Papperman : Hello, iCarly people. Where's my car?
Carly Shay : We're getting it.
Freddie Benson : We may not be getting it.
Carly Shay : What?
Sam Puckett : [referring to Don Flanken] This nutloaf says he doesn't know anything about our contest.
Nevel Papperman : What?
Carly Shay : Be quiet.
Nevel Papperman : Make me.
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Nevel Papperman : Now where is my car?
Carly Shay : Do you not understand that there's been some kind of mix-up?
Nevel Papperman : Well, let me read you this.
[takes out a piece of paper]
Nevel Papperman : According to section 9 of the Internet Legislation Act, "any website that engages in fraud will be subject to immediate termination." That means either you give me a car or it's bye-bye "iCarly."
Freddie Benson : If you'll just give us a couple of days to get...
Carly Shay : Wait a minute. Why do you have that printed out?
Nevel Papperman : Because I like to print things.
Freddie Benson : No, you'd only print that out if you knew you were gonna need it.
Sam Puckett : Yeah. How did you know there was gonna be a problem getting you the car?
Nevel Papperman : Oh, please. I don't have time to be interviewed.
Carly Shay : You set this whole thing up. That Jeffrey guy or whatever his real name is, you sent him to us, didn't you?
Nevel Papperman : Oh, I don't know. I send a lot of guys a lot of places.
Carly Shay : You evil, evil little elf.
Nevel Papperman : You can't prove anything, but I can prove that you owe me a car and I better get it or you'll rue this day. You'll rue it!