Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (TV Series)
The Bartender Says... (2009)
Jackson Douglas: Mike
Quotes
-
Horse : Oh, yeah? Is it a joke? How about this? Why are there so few black baseball players?
Mike : Why?
Horse : Because they're always stealing bases. Hahahaha!
Harry : Whoa! Hey, now that IS offensive!
Mike : Yeah. What the hell, man?
Horse : Hey, it's a joke, man.
Mike : Yeah, but it's racist!
Horse : Oh, the horse with the long face just told a racist joke, huh?
Harry : That's different.
Horse : Oh yeah? How is it different?
-
Mike : Hey, why do you have so many drinks and you haven't touched any of them?
Horse : Uh, hello, Einstein? Hooves. No fucking thumbs. Can't pick up a glass.
Harry : Well, then, why are you in a bar?
Horse : Eat shit, that's why. Dickhead.
Mike : Look, look. I think we got off the wrong foot here.
Horse : Yeah, well you got that right.
Mike : We're sorry, okay?
Horse : Alright, me too.
Mike : I'm Mike and this is Harry.
Horse : Sarah Jessica Parker.
-
Harry : Alright, here's one. So, a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face?
[the two laugh]
Mike : That's hilarious!
Horse : [a horse arrives] Hey. Fuck you.
Mike : What the hell's your problem?
Horse : You're my problem, that joke is offensive.
Harry : Oh, yeah?
Horse : Yeah, I'm sorry that not everyone conforms to your preconceived notions of attractiveness.
Mike : It's a joke, man.