Seth MacFarlane's Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy (TV Series)

The Bartender Says... (2009)

Phil LaMarr: Harry

Quotes 

• Horse : Oh, yeah? Is it a joke? How about this? Why are there so few black baseball players?

  Mike : Why?

  Horse : Because they're always stealing bases. Hahahaha!

  Harry : Whoa! Hey, now that IS offensive!

  Mike : Yeah. What the hell, man?

  Horse : Hey, it's a joke, man.

  Mike : Yeah, but it's racist!

  Horse : Oh, the horse with the long face just told a racist joke, huh?

  Harry : That's different.

  Horse : Oh yeah? How is it different?

• Mike : Hey, why do you have so many drinks and you haven't touched any of them?

  Horse : Uh, hello, Einstein? Hooves. No fucking thumbs. Can't pick up a glass.

  Harry : Well, then, why are you in a bar?

  Horse : Eat shit, that's why. Dickhead.

  Mike : Look, look. I think we got off the wrong foot here.

  Horse : Yeah, well you got that right.

  Mike : We're sorry, okay?

  Horse : Alright, me too.

  Mike : I'm Mike and this is Harry.

  Horse : Sarah Jessica Parker.

• Harry : Alright, here's one. So, a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face?

  [the two laugh] 

  Mike : That's hilarious!

  Horse : [a horse arrives]  Hey. Fuck you.

  Mike : What the hell's your problem?

  Horse : You're my problem, that joke is offensive.

  Harry : Oh, yeah?

  Horse : Yeah, I'm sorry that not everyone conforms to your preconceived notions of attractiveness.

  Mike : It's a joke, man.