- Marshall: [addressing twin toddlers, Alejandro and Esteban, in high-chairs] It releases insulin when your blood sugar gets too high. And that is how an artificial pancreas works.
- Marina: [speaking to Tom] I guess this counts as playing.
- Tom: [answering Marina] Well, I... he's having fun.
- Marina: [speaking to Marshall] Say, Grandpa.
- Marshall: Heh?
- Marina: Why don't you try a round of peek-a-boo?
- Marshall: I don't wanna mess with their sense of object permanence.
- Tom: [under his breath] Dad...
- Tom: You always do this. You're buying them all this stuff... You're buying their love.
- Connor: Well, how else am I supposed to get it?
- [protracted silence, Tom sighs dishearteningly]
- Connor: Of course I have to buy their love. I don't have your skills, Tom. I've never won a Pulitzer.
- Tom: Well, I mean, it was a special citation from the Minnesota Book Critics Association.
- Connor: The only thing I've written is a Reddit thread about stonks. And Sarah, you're like the perfect daughter. You're always, like, volunteering and doing work that actually helps the community, while I, occasionally, am harming it.
- Sarah: You're exaggerating.
- Connor: No, seriously. I once invested in a startup that helped people bedazzle their assault weapons. And one of my companies in Latvia does, like, really shady stuff. Even I was like, "Can we do this?"
- Denise: Probably shouldn't be telling us this.
- Connor: So yes, of course, I have to buy their love. You guys make them proud. I make them reservations and mimosas.
- Sarah: Connor, they would love you even if you were poor.
- Connor: [disgusted] Ew, don't say that.