- Dr. Will Zimmerman: Okay, so what is that thing?
- Nikola Tesla: I call it... The Devamper!
- Kate Freelander: You're a genius and that's the best you could come up with?
- Dr. Helen Magnus: Besides, we don't want to kill them. We want to help them.
- Kate Freelander: [pause] No, I'm thinking kill them.
- Dr. Will Zimmerman: Yeah. Trust fund vampires? I'm thinking she's right.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: Granted, but it wasn't their choice. They may be rich, spoiled, insolent children, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't save them.
- [pause]
- Dr. Helen Magnus: Terrible sales pitch.
- Kate Freelander: If we ever get out of this alive, I'll kill him!
- Dr. Will Zimmerman: Me first.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: Both of you; back of the line!
- Nikola Tesla: It's just my soul crushing depression talking. I am not myself.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: On the contrary you are your real self again. Human. Mortal.
- Nikola Tesla: Watch your language.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: I'm sorry, Nicola, but its true. I've tried everything I could think of. There is simply no way to re-vamp you.
- Nikola Tesla: You see how this puts a crimp in my plans for world domination. Not to say that I won't keep trying.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: I would expect nothing less.
- Nikola Tesla: Very well. If this is to be a wake, then lets do it properly. Join me in a toast. To happier times to those Halcyon times of blood lust now gone. Plus you got to admit vampires are just plain cool.
- Dr. Helen Magnus: Amen.
- Nikola Tesla: Here's to the glorious vampire race. Once mighty, now extinct.
- Chad Spencer: Why wait? We're here right now.
- Nikola Tesla: Oh, and you think your twenty-four years experience has prepped you for ruling the earth.
- Chad Spencer: What are you saying?
- Nikola Tesla: I'm saying you'll blow it. You've turned what was supposed to be a symphony into rock and roll. French-Canadian rock and roll.
- Chad Spencer: You know, I was hoping you'd be a little more cooperative.
- Nikola Tesla: Yeah, well, life's a bitch, and then you don't die.
- Nikola Tesla: You've turned what was supposed to be a symphony into Rock and Roll! French-Canadian rock and roll!