Ted Lasso (TV Series)
No Weddings and a Funeral (2021)
Brett Goldstein: Roy Kent
Photos
Quotes
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Keeley Jones : So where do you think her father is right now?
Roy Kent : In the drawer of a funeral home.
Keeley Jones : No. I mean, like, spiritually.
Roy Kent : In the drawer of a funeral home.
Ted Lasso : You know, growing up, I used to believe that if you did good things, you went to Heaven, you did bad things, you went to Hell. Nowadays, I know we all just do both, so wherever he is, I hope he's happy.
Higgins : I like to imagine a heaven where animals are in charge and humans are the pets. I'd like to spend eternity curled up in front of a fire at Cindy Clawford's feet.
Nathan Shelley : I'd like to be reincarnated as a tiger, and then ravage anyone who looked at me wrong.
Coach Beard : You know, if you weigh a person's body right after death, it's 21.3 grams lighter, and some say that's the weight of the soul.
Roy Kent : Whoever figured that out clearly weighed someone, murdered them, then weighed them again. You live, you die, you're done. Good night.
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Keeley Jones : Roy, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?
Roy Kent : Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Keeley. Avenge me!