- Sam Puckett: [to Carly] What is it? I wanna tell you a secret.
- Carly Shay: Okay.
- Sam Puckett: Come here.
- Carly Shay: I'm already here. What's the secret?
- Sam Puckett: I like fried chicken.
- Carly Shay: It's not a secret that you like fried chicken.
- Sam Puckett: I know. I got scared to tell you my real secret.
- Carly Shay: Just tell me.
- Sam Puckett: Okay. Come here.
- Carly Shay: I already come here'd.
- Sam Puckett: You know that kid, Freddie?
- Carly Shay: Yes, I know Freddie.
- Sam Puckett: We kissed.
- Carly Shay: [looks shocked] What?
- Sam Puckett: Me and Freddie kissed. You know...
- [makes kissing sounds]
- Carly Shay: You and Freddie really kissed?
- Sam Puckett: Shhhh! Don't tell Carly.
- Carly Shay: Sam and Freddie kissed!
- Spencer Shay: Ah. What did you just say?
- Carly Shay: The dentist gave Sam this loopy gas, and she was all, "me and Freddie kissed."
- Spencer Shay: No way! Give me the deets.
- Carly Shay: I don't have any deets 'cause after she told me, she whispered, "Shhh. Don't tell Carly."
- Spencer Shay: Why would she tell you not to tell yourself?
- Carly Shay: I don't know. It was the gas talking. She doesn't even remember she told me. So now, I know this insane secret that I'm not supposed to know and she doesn't even know that I know and why wouldn't she want me to know?
- Spencer Shay: Okay, calm down.
- Carly Shay: Never tell a girl to calm down! Guys always tell girls to calm down and it never works. It just gets us all whipped up. You see me all whipped up now, it's 'cause you told me to calm down!
- Spencer Shay: You know, most guys have to get married to suffer this kind of abuse.
- Freddie Benson: [to Carly] So, how'd Sam do at the dentist?
- Carly Shay: Like you'd expect.
- Freddie Benson: She bit him?
- Carly Shay: Four times. He may lose part of his finger. But then, the dentist gave her some of that wacky gas.
- Freddie Benson: Nitrous oxide?
- Carly Shay: Mm-hmm. And then...
- Freddie Benson: What?
- Carly Shay: Oh, she started saying some pretty weird stuff.
- Freddie Benson: Weird how?
- Carly Shay: Like, she thought her thumb was missing.
- Freddie Benson: Was it?
- Carly Shay: No! And then she said that you two kissed.
- Freddie Benson: So she really thought her thumb was missing? That's so crazy.
- Carly Shay: And she said you two kissed.
- Freddie Benson: I'm coming, Mom!
- Carly Shay: Your mom didn't call you.
- Freddie Benson: I heard the whistle!
- Carly Shay: [to Sam] Is what Sam said true?
- Freddie Benson: No. I'm sure she has both her thumbs.
- Carly Shay: Did you and Sam kiss?
- [Freddie tries to run away, but Carly tackles him and pins him down on the ground]
- Carly Shay: Tell me!
- Freddie Benson: No!
- [flips Carly and pins her to the ground]
- Carly Shay: Whoa! When did you get so strong?
- Freddie Benson: Same time the voice got lower!
- Freddie Benson: [after Carly, Freddie and Sam are duct-taped by prisoners]
- [to Carly]
- Freddie Benson: Why did you tell them where the duct tape was?
- Carly Shay: I was trying to be helpful.
- Sam Puckett: Yeah, you helped 'em, all right.
- Carly Shay: Well, it's Freddie's fault. When you see prisoners escaping, you don't announce that you're gonna call the cops.
- [imitates Freddie's voice]
- Carly Shay: "Well, you do realize we have to call the police."
- [Sam sees Carly after recovering from dental surgery]
- Sam Puckett: You're blurry. Pretty, blurry girl.
- Sam Puckett: Ah, what's the big chiz? It's normal for teeth to fall out.
- Carly Shay: Yeah, when you're 5.
- Freddie Benson: Or 90.
- Spencer Shay: Hey, you guys, which one of these shirts do you think I should wear tomorrow?
- Carly Shay: To where?
- Spencer Shay: Prison.
- Freddie Benson: Prison?
- Carly Shay: Oh my God, what did you download?
- Carly Shay: [to Freddie] Did you and Sam kiss?
- Freddie Benson: Okay. Yes, it's true. Sam and I kissed.
- Carly Shay: Oh, my God!
- Freddie Benson: I was bummed about never kissing anyone, and I was out on the balcony, and Sam came out, and she said she'd never kissed anyone either, and then we ended up kissing.
- Carly Shay: Oh, my God.
- Freddie Benson: It was just one time. Except for that other time, but that might have been Sam's twin sister. I'm still fuzzy on the whole Melanie thing.
- Carly Shay: You guys are my best friends. How come neither one of you told me?
- Freddie Benson: We promised each other we'd never speak of it again. Oh, man, I've been speaking of it again!
- Carly Shay: I'm calling Sam right now.
- Freddie Benson: No! If you tell Sam I told you, she'll kick me in places that should never be kicked!
- Carly Shay: [to Carly] We're best friends, right?
- Sam Puckett: Of course.
- Carly Shay: And best friends don't keep secrets from each other, do they?
- Sam Puckett: Why, what'd you do? Is it bad? Did you finally do something bad? Holy crab, Iove this!
- Carly Shay: [to Sam] Why didn't you tell me that you and Freddie kissed?
- Sam Puckett: I...
- Freddie Benson: [as he opens the door] Hey, can I run upstairs for a second and install these...
- Sam Puckett: You spoke of it!