How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Duel Citizenship (2009)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : It's not gonna be easy, like the Canadian citizenship test.

  Robin Scherbatsky : How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?

  Barney Stinson : It's Canada! Question One: Do you want to be Canadian? Question Two: Really?

• Barney Stinson : Those Canadian doctors bandaged me up, put my shoulder back in its socket, and reset my jaw, and they didn't even bill me. Idiots!

• Barney Stinson : Last question. Who is this?

  [Holds up picture of Ernest P Worrell] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : That is the fine actor best known for the Hey Vern series of films. And his name is Jeff Foxworthy.

  Barney Stinson : Wrong. It's Jim Varney.

  Robin Scherbatsky : It's Jeff Foxworthy, you idiot!

  Barney Stinson : Robin, not only were you wrong, but you stubbornly stuck to your guns and insulted me in the process.

  [Salutes] 

  Barney Stinson : Congratulations, you are an American.

• Robin Scherbatsky : What happened?

  Barney Stinson : You went Canadian.

  Robin Scherbatsky : How Canadian?

  Barney Stinson : This Canadian!

  [Dramatically opens curtains of hotel room; a building blocks the view] 

  Barney Stinson : That was supposed to be a dramatic view of the Toronto skyline. We're in Toronto!

• Barney Stinson : Attention Canada! I am Barney from America, and I am here to fix your backward ass country. Number one, get real money. Don't know what board game this came from, but it's a joke. Number two, and this is the biggy, quit letting awesome chicks, like Robin Scherbatsky, get away. Because, guess what, you don't want her, I'm planting my flag in her, if you know what I mean, which you probably don't, and getting the hell outta here, you may now return to being pointless.

• Barney Stinson : You can be an American, but first we have to take the Canadian out of you. That's why I prepared these set of questions. Question one: Who is this?

  [Holds up picture of Queen Elizabeth II] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Queen Elizabeth II.

  Barney Stinson : Wrong! The correct answer is Elton John. Question two: What is this?

  [Holds up picture of curling players] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : That is the sport of curling. The point is...

  Barney Stinson : Wrong! The correct answer is: I don't care, it looks dumb.

• Robin Scherbatsky : Make fun of the Great White North all you want, but Canada is the greatest country in the world.

  Barney Stinson : Great... Social experiment.

  [Chants] 

  Barney Stinson : U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

  [Rest of the bar joins in] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : What does that even prove? They'll chant at anything. Ca-na-da! Ca-na-da!

  [No one joins in] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Ca-na... all right, so they won't chant at anything.

  Barney Stinson : [Chants]  Shrimp fried rice! Shrimp fried rice!

  [rest of the bar joins in] 

  Ted Mosby : [Coming in]  Shrimp fried rice, totally!

• Barney Stinson : You're gonna pass that test, and I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna drill you, and then we're gonna study. We're gonna cram, and then we're gonna study. We're gonna bone up...

  Robin Scherbatsky : All right, I get it.

  Barney Stinson : It's a rich area.

• Ted Mosby : Marshall and I haven't done something, just the two of us, for so long. Ever since he got married, he's turned from an "I" to a "We".

  Barney Stinson : What do you mean?

  Ted Mosby : Think about it.

  Ted Mosby : [Flashback]  Hey, haven't seen you all week. How you doing?

  Marshall Eriksen : [With Lily]  We're doing great.

  Ted Mosby : Do you watch the Jets game?

  Marshall Eriksen : We most certainly did.

  Ted Mosby : How'd things go at the doctor?

  Marshall Eriksen : We no longer have a hemorrhoid problem.

• Barney Stinson : [Looking at Canadian coins]  Look at this money! This one has a moose, this one has a beaver, and they all have Elton John on the back.

• Barney Stinson : [Looking at Canadian money]  And there's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you *want* us to make fun of you.