Fred Henry III: Professor Okembje

Quotes 

• Professor Okembje : Every day we raze billions of trees to make wrappings for food that we discard with ignorance. The destruction of our own planet is sinisterly tied to the stuffing of our own obscene faces with barely edible slop. I have determined that our current behavior of unmitigated mastication is outmoded and corrupt. I shall bring eating into the 22nd century with my revolutionary food teleporter, which shall end famine and waste forever!

• Professor Okembje : I killed him with food. It was genius!

• Food and Drug Administration : We can't possibly approve this device until you make it safe for public use!

  Professor Okembje : Nonsense! I spent the best 30 years of my life inventing the food teleporter. I'm not going to use the 30 second best years of my life changing it because of your dumb ethics.

• Food and Drug Administration : You're mad, Okembje! Mad, I tell you!

  Professor Okembje : Shut up! I just teleported a whole turkey into this guy's stomach. That's fuckin' cool! When's the last time you teleported something, you dick?

• Professor Okembje : With this food teleporter, I could - dare I say it- rule the world! MOOHAHA! It seems that I will indeed bring food into the 22nd century. People will bow before me as I fill their stomachs... with death!

• Sarah : Excuse me, Madam, Sir, or Miss, but do you happen to have a food teleporter on the premises?

  Professor Okembje : Yes. I mean no. Dagnabbit!

• Professor Okembje : Foolish morons! I shall teleport myself to a place where your laws have no meaning: the barren reaches of outer space!

  Chief Inspector : But that's just out of our jurisdiction!

  Professor Okembje : Sayonara suckers!