Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
For the Sake of the Child (2009)
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper
Photos
Quotes
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Alan Harper : [peeking nervously on Jake driving the car] So, Charlie, when's your, uh... when's your fiancee back in town?
Charlie Harper : [also nervously looking around] Uh... next week.
Alan Harper : Huh. So, uh... so her dad's out of the hospital?
Charlie Harper : Yep. They gave him a new hip and sent him home.
Alan Harper : Huh. So he had a bad hip?
Charlie Harper : No, Alan, he had a bad tooth, but he went to the wrong doctor.
Alan Harper : You don't have to be snide.
Charlie Harper : You don't have to ask dumb-ass questions.
Jake Harper : He didn't ask me anything.
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Jake Harper : [driving the car, turns the radio on]
Alan Harper : Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Concentrate on the road!
Jake Harper : What? You listen to the radio while you drive.
Alan Harper : I'm an experienced driver.
Charlie Harper : [from the back seat] You drive like an old woman!
Alan Harper : An *experienced* old woman.
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Charlie Harper : Let us consider the hummingbird, Alan, or the butterfly. All of God's creatures are perfect just the way He made them. Except you. You suck.
Alan Harper : OK OK, fine. Name three things you would change about me.
Charlie Harper : Your personality, your wardrobe, and your address.