How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Bagpipes (2009)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : Well, now, I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.

  Marshall Eriksen : Awww, look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes and think you can play with the big boys. Adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews Band on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer footrub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that will make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but... thanks for your concern, rook'.

• Barney Stinson : There are so many things to do with the human mouth. Why waste it on talking?

• Barney Stinson : It's like Gandhi said, "Smile don't cost nothing, sugar."

• Barney Stinson : Okay, we all have our assignments for the weekend. Ted, you're gonna stand up to your neighbors. Marshall, you're going to stand up to Lily. And Robin, I'm gonna need you in some sort of a crouching position in the bear-skinned rug of our skiing chalet. Ready? Break!

• Barney Stinson : Isn't it great to finally see her fulfilled emotionally, spiritually and sexually?

  Ted Mosby : Um, I dated her for a year...

  Barney Stinson : Yeah...

• Robin Scherbatsky : So what if we're not the best couple in the world?

  Barney Stinson : Yeah. It's not like it's a competition.

  [Meanwhile, in Lily and Marshall's appartment] 

  Lily Aldrin : We win!

  Marshall Eriksen : [Pops open bottle of champagne]  Best couple in the world!