The Cleveland Show (TV Series)

Ship'rect (2011)

Mike Henry: Cleveland Brown, Rallo Tubbs, Additional Voices

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland]  That's my ex-stepson, Larry. What he needs is a girlfriend.

  Cleveland Brown : Well, I could fix him up with my stepdaughter, Roberta. She loves white idiots.

• Donna Tubbs : Roberta, what's wrong?

  Roberta Tubbs : What's wrong? Here I am, innocently trying to exploit Cleveland's celebrity connection and the whole time, he's just trying to pimp me out.

  Rallo Tubbs : [over the intercom]  First good idea you had since you showed up.

  Cleveland Brown : What the hell was that?

  Donna Tubbs : It's Rallo. I got him an intercom so he doesn't feel left out.

  Rallo Tubbs : [over the intercom]  So how much we getting for the girl?

  Roberta Tubbs : Shut up, Rallo.

  [turns off the intercom] 

  Rallo Tubbs : [off-screen]  Hey, that's my connection to the outside world! I exist! Rallo!

• Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland]  Hey, uh, you got something in your mustache.

  Cleveland Brown : What?

  Barry Shadwell : Me.

  [kisses Cleveland] 

• Cleveland Brown Jr. : [to Cleveland]  I saw you kiss Mr. Shadwell last night. Daddy, is there something you wish to tell me?

  Cleveland Brown : What? I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : Okay, but you didn't try to stop him.

  Cleveland Brown : Look, he kissed me. I was surprised. It's over.

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : I understand. So do you just like kissing football players or are all athletes fair game?

• Cleveland Brown Jr. : Oh, Daddy, I know you're not gay. You're too fat to be gay.

  Cleveland Brown : And you are too. Love you, fatty.

• Barry Shadwell : [to Cleveland about the kiss]  Hey, man, it's not all my fault. I mean, you wanted me to kiss you.

  Cleveland Brown : What? What on earth would make you think that?

  Barry Shadwell : You're joking, right? You're always staring at me, you know all my stats, your voice is slightly gay and your mustache is groomed.

  Cleveland Brown : My mustache is for the ladies.

  Barry Shadwell : Look, listen, let's forget the kiss ever happened.

  Cleveland Brown : What kiss?

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen]  When you two were on the porch the other night.

  Cleveland Brown , Barry Shadwell : Shut up!

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen]  Don't tell me to shut up, you banana slammers.

• Cleveland Brown : [to Donna]  Darling, sit down. I have something to tell you.

  Donna Tubbs : Oh, honey, if it's that you kissed Barry Shadwell, I know.

  Cleveland Brown : What?

  Donna Tubbs : Your son's been telling the whole town.

  Cleveland Brown : That fat son of a bitch.

  Cleveland Brown Jr. : [off-screen]  I may be fat, but I don't kiss boys.

• Donna Tubbs : Cleveland, listen up. You're acting like a homophobe. That's as bad as being a racist.

  Cleveland Brown : No, it isn't. I don't wanna kiss a white man either.

  Donna Tubbs : Look, honey, it's just sexuality. We're all somewhere on the grid. I know you're not gay, you know you're not gay. Everyone knows you're not gay, but I'd rather have everyone think you were gay than think you were a bigot.