- Lily Aldrin: Dad, what happened to your appartment?
- Mickey Aldrin: I had a little disagreement with my roommate.
- Lily Aldrin: What?
- Mickey Aldrin: He wanted me to pay rent.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [to Ted] Last year you got left at the altar, you lost your job, you've come such a long way since then. I'm so proud of you, Ted. You deserve to slap someone in his face as hard as you can.
- Barney Stinson: Just slap me and get it over with! Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch! Robin adjusts her hair, I flinch! All this flinching can't be good for my skin. I'm getting crow's feet. Crow's feet!
- Marshall Eriksen: It's gonna be ten more minutes.
- Mickey Aldrin: I'm okay, as long as I have "Diseases!" The fun's infectious.
- Marshall Eriksen: It's just gonna be five more minutes.
- Mickey Aldrin: Hopefully soon, amigo. I'm fighting a losing case of hemorrhoids here.
- Marshall Eriksen: Is that one of the diseases?
- Mickey Aldrin: No.
- Lily Aldrin: I can't do it. Why can't I do it?
- Marshall Eriksen: Because the slap has done what I'd hoped. It's brought us all closer together. And it's caused us to recognize both the frailty and the greatness in ourselves and each other.
- Barney Stinson: Oh, give me a break!
- Marshall Eriksen: [unties Barney] And that is why there will be no slapping today.
- Barney Stinson: Oh, my God. This is the best Thanksgiving...
- [Marshall slaps Barney so hard he falls over]
- Marshall Eriksen: That's four! So, back to turkey.
- Ted Mosby: Hey, buddy, are you all right? Did you swallow some of the paint?
- Marshall Eriksen: I'm giving Mickey my "you're dead to me" look.
- Mickey Aldrin: You are? Lily's is much better.