Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2010)
Conchata Ferrell: Berta
Quotes
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Charlie Harper : [Charlie is trying to sleep on the couch, but Berta enters the kitchen singing] Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!
Berta : Hey, I didn't see you there! What'd you do?
Charlie Harper : I don't wanna talk about it.
Berta : Fine. I'm not one to pry.
[pauses]
Berta : Money?
Charlie Harper : No.
Berta : Old girlfriend?
Charlie Harper : No!
Berta : She find those Polaroids?
Charlie Harper : No! How did you know about the Polaroids?
Berta : You just told me, you dirt bag!
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Berta : I've seen your tallywacker. You're blessed, but you ain't no Seabiscuit!
Charlie Harper : When have you seen my tallywacker?
Berta : Oh, I dunno... Maybe the nine or ten times I've found you passed out in your bathtub, holding onto it like it was a floatation device!
Charlie Harper : Sorry about that.
Berta : Don't be!