How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Rabbit or Duck (2010)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Quotes 

• Robin Scherbatsky : So that settles it. Don's a rabbit.

  Ted Mosby : I wouldn't be too sure. Don... Donald... Donald Duck? And what, I wonder, does Donald Duck never wear?

  Lily Aldrin : Pants!

  Ted Mosby : Pants. Don's a duck. Requesting permission to lawyered.

  Marshall Eriksen : I'll allow it.

  Ted Mosby : Lawyered!

• Marshall Eriksen : I mean, look, when you first met Don, you hated him, you thought "This guy's a duck", but one of these days you're gonna realize "This is actually someone that I love, he's a rabbit".

  Ted Mosby : Wow I think you got it backwards there, buddy. The duck is the thing you love, the rabbit is the thing you hate.

  Marshall Eriksen : What?

  Robin Scherbatsky : Yeah I got to agree. Duck's up, rabbit down.

  Lily Aldrin : Definitely. Ducks are better than rabbits.

  Marshall Eriksen : I got... ducks are... ducks are... rabbits are adorable. Ducks are aargh. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? I mean, ducks are... jerks.

  Narrator : This lead to one of the most intense arguments our group has ever had.

  [Flash forward, everyone is yelling] 

  Ted Mosby : Duck is delicious. Rabbit is all gamey.

  Marshall Eriksen : We're not talking about flavour, Ted!

  Ted Mosby : Flavour counts!

  [Flash forward, yelling] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Who carries a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Flash forward, yelling]  You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I wrap myself in one stuffed with duck feathers. Who's cosier? No, no, no, no, no, no... who's cosier?

  Ted Mosby : [Flash forward]  Hold on, I've got to get another book.

  Ted Mosby : [Flash forward]  Then why don't we take, a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out?

  Marshall Eriksen : Because it's illegal, Ted!

  Ted Mosby : Only if we bet on it, Marshall!

  Marshall Eriksen : [Flash forward]  FINE! I CAN SEE IT! YOU WIN!

• Marshall Eriksen : [Running through the bar in search of Ted's future wife]  Hey! Hey, wanna get married?

  Lily Aldrin : [Talking to another girl, annoyed]  I don't know what kind of architect? Houses, buildings, that kind of crap.

  Marshall Eriksen : [to threes girls sitting together]  Wanna marry my friend Ted?

  [to the 2nd one] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Wanna marry my friend Ted?

  [to the 3d one] 

  Marshall Eriksen : Wanna marry my friend Ted?

  Lily Aldrin : You can be choosey? You're in a bar on Valentine's Day, uh!

  Marshall Eriksen : Hey, just real quick...

  [the girl pepper-sprays him, he writhes in pain] 

  Marshall Eriksen : you wanna marry my friend Ted?

• Marshall Eriksen : [Trying to pick a date for Ted]  Trudy?

  Lily Aldrin : Married.

  Marshall Eriksen : Blah Blah?

  Lily Aldrin : Committed.

  Marshall Eriksen : Relationship?

  Lily Aldrin : Bellevue.

  Marshall Eriksen : Natalie?

  Lily Aldrin : Ted's her least favorite person in the world.

  Marshall Eriksen : Well, she's not getting any younger.