- Lynette is more determined to break up Preston's marriage; Bree begins to question Sam's motives; Susan gets creative to help Mike with his finances; Patrick Logan secretly arrives in Fairview.
- Lynette is determined, more than ever, to break up Preston's upcoming marriage to the gold-digging Irina since Preston refuses to listen to anyone about his Russian bride's true nature. With a little help from Tom, Lynette does a background check on Irina and discovers the truth. Meanwhile, Gabrielle offers to help out Bob and Lee in the most generous way by offering her eggs to be their surrogate, but she does not consider the consequences. After both Andrew and Orson express suspicion about Sam, Bree begins to question his motives over Sam running her cooking business. Also, Susan gets creative to help Mike with his finances since his pride and male ego makes him not wanting to ask for any help. Elsewhere, Patrick Logan secretly arrives in Fairview and, unbeknown to Angie or Nick, makes contact with his biological son, Danny, who doesn't know Logan's true identity or agenda.—matt-282
- "Desperate Housewives" - "We All Deserve to Die" - April 18, 2010
As has been the case of late, each of our housewives has her own separate story tonight but we do learn the identity of one person who binds them together, "The Fairview Strangler." And we learn it essentially during the "previouslies" when a totally minor character we met this season is emphasized.
First up is Gaby who, in the process of eavesdropping on Bob and Lee, during a fight finds out that their egg donor has dropped out and are worried their surrogate will as well if they can't find a new one within a month. Because she's so giving, or at least is in this episode, she offers up her eggs. They're overjoyed.
Carlos is not, he is weirded out, angry, and goes on a weird rant about essentially owning Gaby's body because he's the family breadwinner. She says, essentially, too bad I'm doing it anyway. But then she starts getting attached to the idea that they're all having a baby together, that she will somehow get a say in how it is raised, etc. When Bob and Lee break it to her that it would be their baby and in fact, when it arrives, they're moving away from Fairview, Gaby finally gets what she would be truly giving them and decides that she can't, in fact, give it to them after all. Because of all of the baby drama: Bob really wants one, Lee is tired of trying to make it happen. As a result, Bob and Lee break up.
When Susan sees what looks like a man breaking into Mike's truck she tears off outside screaming "fire" and nearly accosts him with a frying pan. The whole neighborhood comes running just in time for the guy to explain he's not a thief but a repo man and he's taking Mike's truck because he's four payments behind.
In the ensuing argument, Susan reiterates that she's willing to help Mike with the money that she got from selling her stake in Karl's strip club and that's what couples do and Mike blusters yet again about not taking his wife's money. With MJ's help, Susan figures out a plan to help out Mike's slow, and now truckless business.
She goes to all her friends and gives them money and clogs their toilets/sinks/tubs so Mike can come fix them. He, of course, catches on to all this mysterious new work right on his street and Susan fesses up. He remains angry enough to go sleep on the couch. But the next day, talking to someone we can't see in the garage, Mike explains to the unseen person that he has racked up some unbelievable debt over the last year, so much that Susan's inheritance couldn't cover it and he's afraid if he tells her the truth that she won't look at him the same way, or worse, that she might leave him which would break her already fragile sanity. Mikes feels that Susan thinks that she's lucky to be with him. The camera cuts to Carlos with a checkbook in hand saying "how much do you need?"
In the Scavo house, the wedding day has almost arrived and Lynette goes with Irina to buy her a wedding dress. Irina argues with the bridal shop attendant in Russian and she then yells at Lynette for taking her there. Lynette points out that Irina was the one who wanted to go to a Russian-run shop. When she goes to change, the bridal store worker commiserates about what a pain in the ass Irina is. Irina's phone rings and she tells Lynette to answer. It's a man yelling in Russian. She hands the phone to Irina who argues with the man in in Russian, and Lynette doesn't understand the conversation. Lynette asks what that was all about and Irina says if she wanted her to know she would've spoken English and goes back to the dressing room. The bridal shop clerk happily translates part of the conversation to Lynette in which Irina was arguing with a guy over the phone saying that she had done something that's not right, but the clerk is not sure exactly what.
Lynette calls Tom, who's giving Parker a driving lesson, saying she's going to get Irina's passport number and take it to the INS for investigation. As she's searching their room for her passport- which she finds and gets the number off of- Porter and Irina arrive home. She hides behind the closet door and, to her chagrin, the young couple starts getting it on. She texts Tom to hurry up and then grabs a baseball off a nearby dresser and tosses it through the window to make her escape.
At INS a worker is unimpressed by Lynette's vague story about Irina's possible evil-doing. She notices a photo that makes it clear he has no family and thus, doesn't understand her concern. Lynette goes off and finds an agent who does.
Porter's wedding day arrives and he can't find his left shoe. As he and Eddie search for it, Lynette admits to Tom that she hid it to delay the news that she can't go to the wedding because she refuses to be a hypocrite. Luckily, the INS lady arrives at that moment with a file containing the goods: Irina is still married to a man in Russia and also bilked an Italian man out of all of his cash. When confronted Irina says none of this matters since she will easily be able to convince Porter that none of this matters. He is at the door and overhears all of this and asks Lynette to leave so they can talk.
Later, Lynette enters the room and tells Porter- who called off the wedding- that she knows he's mad at her and she's okay with that because she did what she had to do because she loves him and hopes that one day he will understand. Porter continues to sit silent and angry.
In the Bolen family storyline Patrick Logan goes to the cafe where Danny works and poses as a writer's blocked novelist. Danny, his server, asks to hear the tale. Patrick basically tells him his and Angie's story and says he's gotten to the part where "the guy" has tracked down "the woman" who stole his son and doesn't know what the character should do next. Agreeing with Patrick that the woman is a bitch, Danny counsels having the guy kill the woman. Patrick agrees.
Later, we see him skulking around Angie's house but he doesn't approach her. He goes back to the cafe the next day and Danny asks how the story is coming along. Patrick says well and that instead of killing the woman, he's decided to have his character take the one thing from her that matters most: the child she took from him. Danny thinks this sounds like a good story.
In the Van de Kamp storyline Bree is trying to sell her new cookbook, a high class gloss on "down-home" cooking but her cookbook editors are unsure. She decides to have a dinner for them to impress them with the recipes. Sam had offered up some good advice in marketing talks. Andrew, who had been doing some digging into Sam's past, confronts Sam and Bree about the fact that he said he has an MBA but he really doesn't. Sam manages to cover his lie by saying he was a few credits shy but was allowed to walk at graduation with his class because he left school during his final semester to care for his dying mother. He says he's finishing up and will be leaving Bree's company next month. Bree buys this, but Andrew doesn't.
Later, Sam brings Bree the books and points out some discrepancies in ordering practices. It turns out that Andrew has been doing a little skimming in the way of ordering more alcohol then is necessary for an event and then nabbing the extra for himself. Bree confronts him. Andrew admits that he indeed has taken money from Bree's accounts for himself to buy more booze for himself, but he did it but tries to be all "Sam is trying ot manipulate you!" Bree doesn't see this, she only sees proof that her psycho son has stolen from her and their clients and fires Andrew. Sam appears and mmakes all the right noises about feeling bad about it.
Right before the editors' dinner Sam talks about how amazing Bree is to be forging ahead after the unpleasantness with Andrew. She pshaws it basically saying this is the dance they do: Andrew screws up, they argue he goes or is sent away, she takes him back in because he's her son. Sam seems alarmed that Andrew will be back.
Coincidentally, right before her dinner is to be served. Sam informs Bree that someone replaced the sherry with vinegar and Bree realizes all the food is ruined. So instead of having her career ruined as well she sets off the sprinkler's before the editors can eat. Sam fingers the disgruntled Andrew as the likely culprit.
At home, Bree explains to Orson how Sam told her that Andrew almost ruined her dinner. Orson makes her a cup of hot chocolate and pokes reasonable holes in this theory, basically saying Andrew isn't that clever, and wonders if Sam isn't a more likely candidate. Bree, of course, thinks this is preposterous and asks what Sam would have to gain by doing such a thing. Orson doesn't know why or what Sam's agenda is, but he tells Bree to think about it.
Epilogue. As Irina walks down Whisteria Lane with her luggage to leave town, Eddie pulls up and offers her a ride to a motel. While in the car he apologizes for the tough time she got from the Scavos, but she doesn't want to talk about it. He says if she wants, she can stay with him to save money. She declines. Eddie says there would be no "funny business." Irina says of course their wouldn't since he is so clearly out of her league and that she didn't come to America to sleep with "some greasy-haired loser". Eddie freaks, pulls off the road, and, you guessed it, strangles her. He then buries her body. Eddie is the Fairview Strangler!
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