- Dan Stark: [In Evidence Locker] No one's touched this stuff in years. Makes you sick. This where good evidence comes to die.
- Dan Stark: Evidence is like a bowl of soup. When it goes cold, you've gotta heat it up again. Scrape that film that grows on the top off it and just dig in.
- Jack Bailey: [Lying to Lieutenant Ruiz] You're never going to believe what happened to us on our union-mandated lunch break...
- Dan Stark: Trust me. You don't want to get involved in any 'task force'. They should re-name those damn things. They do no tasks. They sure as hell never use any force.
- Dan Stark: Hey, I'm sorry I planted that gun. I can't help but feel that I'm partially responsible for this.
- Jack Bailey: Partially? You're entirely responsible.
- Dan Stark: How am I supposed to keep you in the loop? Half the time, I don't even know what I'm going to do.
- Jack Bailey: [after Dan sums up Jack's love life] Bringing out the big guns on that one, aren't you?
- Dan Stark: Big guns is all I carry.
- Dan Stark: You know when you order Chinese food and put it in the fridge. In a couple of months it gets scary. After a while, you don't want to open the fridge anymore? Whenever Frank and I found a sealed up box at a crime scene... called it murder leftovers.
- Jack Bailey: Do you know what is not a convincing argument for committing a felony? Because I'm a cop!
- Lt. Ana Ruiz: Dan, you will never be allowed near my Evidence Locker again.
- Dan Stark: How come when you say that it sounds so dirty.
- Dan Stark: Come out! You're surrounded!
- Eric Williams: By what? Suburban homes?
- Dan Stark: You're about to be surrounded!
- Dan Stark: There's no prints on that. I looked.
- Jack Bailey: Yeah, well, technology's come a long way since "I looked".
- Dan Stark: Why don't you sniff on those seats there and see if there's some fluids.
- Jack Bailey: That's not going to happen.
- Dan Stark: It's not what it looks like.
- Jack Bailey: Oh really? It looks like you stole a semi-automatic weapon from the Evidence Locker and planted it in the bushes of the mother of my ex-girlfriend.
- Dan Stark: I guess it is kinda what it looks like.
- Dan Stark: Maybe you should trust me.
- Jack Bailey: Trust you? Dan, you have been lying to me the whole time.
- Dan Stark: Yes, but that's exactly why you can trust me. Because you know I'm going to lie to you.
- Dan Stark: Hey, I want you to know that if you're killed or maimed in there, I will take care of Liz and her mom.
- Jack Bailey: That's the best reason to stay alive I could possibly imagine.
- Jack Bailey: [to a Guatemalan suspect] What is your name?
- Dan Stark: Que pasa your nombre, hombre?
- [a mixture of Spanish & English that literally translates to 'What's up your name, man?]