- Frankie Heck: [Letter written to the principal] Dear Principal Larimer, I'm writing to bring your attention to an issue and concern to me as a parent. It regards one of your teachers, Ms Rinsky. I have tried repeatedly to have an open dialogue with her about my son's education but she has been completely uncaring and dismissive. Today, more than ever, don't we need teachers that are caring and missive. Her teaching skills in math don't add up. Maybe because when she was born the numbers only went up to ten. If you want to schedule a parent teacher conference with her, good luck! Your best bet is scheduling it with the bartender at Beefsteak Charlie's. Glug Glug. Is this the kind of teacher you want at your school? One who instead of nurturing our children, uses mind games and intimidation. She would have made a fine Nazi. Maybe she was. What do we really know about her? Mike and Sue Heck
- Aunt Edie: When I was young, I used to love school. I remember once we had to do this time capsule, you know, fill it with important things, and bury it in the backyard so we could dig it up when we were grown.
- Sue Heck: Really? And-and did you? Did you dig it up?
- Aunt Edie: Oh, we moved before I could. What a shame. You know, I think of it every day of my life.
- Aunt Edie: You have? Oh my God. That's so many days!
- Mike Heck: I didn't think you were ever gonna do anything. As long as I've known you, you've been all talk and no action. You found a rat's foot in a can of chili and never got around to writing a letter.
- Frankie Heck: You got a "D" on your math test? You don't get D's.
- Brick Heck: Eh, what are you gonna do?
- Frankie Heck, Brick Heck: I'll tell you what you're gonna do, Brick. You're gonna study. Math is very important in life. You use math in everything... Oh, even I can't say it like I believe it.
- Frankie Heck: School... It's challenging, demanding, and takes a whole lot of work. And it can be hard on your kids, too.
- Frankie Heck: Jeez, Brick, what do you got in here? This thing weighs a ton.
- Brick Heck: Well, I told you, there's been a measurable increase In workload now that I'm in third grade. It's really cutting into my reading time.
- Sue Heck: Axl, you need to start thinking outside of yourself!
- Sue Heck: Look at Beyonce. She has every reason In the world to be selfish, and she still gives back!
- Sue Heck: Wouldn't it be amazing if we could find the capsule for Aunt Edie and make her dreams come true?
- Axl Heck: Sorry. My time is way too valuable.
- Sue Heck: Axl, ever since we got home, I can't stop thinking about Aunt Edie.
- Axl Heck: [sighs] that bone spur thingy on her foot?
- Sue Heck: No, but ew.
- Sue Heck: You know what we need to do? We should totally take her to dig up that old time capsule!
- Axl Heck: Yeah, I'd love to drive my dor sister and senile Aunt around, then dig hole. Let's go!