The Simpsons (TV Series)
Love Is a Many Strangled Thing (2011)
Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Grampa Simpson, Barney Gumble, Sideshow Mel, Groundskeeper Willie
Photos
Quotes
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Marge Simpson : You've destroyed our son's self-esteem.
Homer Simpson : Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem in the first place.
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Dr. Zander : Homer, to emphasize the seriousness of this situation, I'm going to turn my chair around backwards.
Homer Simpson : [screams]
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Dr. Zander : Bart, I'm trying to get you to feel something for your father!
Bart Simpson : I feel something for him. Here it comes.
[he belches]
Dr. Zander : Why, you little...!
[strangling him]
Dr. Zander : Ooh, this is a tough neck. Oh, it's so strong. It's like an oak.
Homer Simpson : You see? You see how that boy pushes your buttons?
Dr. Zander : We'll talk when he's dead!
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Grampa Simpson : Aw. My son's first stroke.
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Dr. Zander : Wait a minute! You strangle your own son?
Homer Simpson : Yeah, strangling. I'ts not the only tool in my parenting arsenal, but it's the sharpest.
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Homer Simpson : How could two people from the same family need therapy?
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Homer Simpson : But I don't want to go to parenting class. All the other neglectful parents will make fun of me. They're so cliquey.
Marge Simpson : You'll be all right. You always are.
Homer Simpson : Oh, I miss my friends from drunk driving class. They were so cool.
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Homer Simpson : Doctor, you made me see my life of through Bart's neck.
Dr. Zander : Homer, you've made a lot of progress. I'm sure with a few years of biweekly sessions, I'm sure...
Homer Simpson : Uh, I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander : And you're cured.
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Dr. Zander : You're serious? You mean you lay your hands on your son's neck?
Homer Simpson : Yeah. I guess it's the way I was brought up.
[Flashback to Homer as a boy]
Grampa Simpson : Homer, your grades are a disgrace. No more TV for a month.
Homer Simpson : Why you little...
[Strangles Grampa]
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Homer Simpson : I couldn't quit drinking any more than I could quit being a man.
[Pours from a flask into his orange juice and drinks it]
Homer Simpson : Ah, now it feels like morning.
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Bart Simpson : Can't talk now. Texting.
Moe Szyslak : Ooh, a text. Heh. Let's see... text message for I.M. A. Weiner. As you can all see, I.M. A. Weiner.
Barney Gumble : [the barflies all laugh] I see it, Moe!
Moe Szyslak : Why you... when I...
[texting]
Moe Szyslak : "When I a hold of you..." Oh, damn it, I typed a 'F' and not a 'D'. Uh... delete, delete, delete, delete. Oh, crap, I just donated $20 to Haiti.
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Marge Simpson : Homer, the game is right here.
[points to football field inside stadium]
Homer Simpson : [chuckles] Oh, that's right! I hope you kids are enjoying yourselves today, because you and your children will be paying for this place long after the team moves to another city.
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Mr. Burns : Simpson, you saved my life. Anything you want, just mention it.
Homer Simpson : All your money and all your stuff.
Mr. Burns : Lower and likelier.
Homer Simpson : Super Bowl tickets? Playoff tickets? Regular season tickets on Bobblehead day?
Mr. Burns : No-head day!
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Edna Krabappel : Bart Simpson. What would your father say if he knew what you were doing?
Bart Simpson : He'd say, "I'm a grown man who's scared of my son."
Edna Krabappel : I find that hard to believe.
Bart Simpson : Oh yeah? Look.
[points to Homer]
Homer Simpson : [writing "I'm a grown man who's afraid of his own son" on chalkboard] How many more, sir?
Bart Simpson : Fill the board, then wash my car.
[Tosses set of keys at Homer]
Homer Simpson : But these are my keys!
Bart Simpson : What was that?
Homer Simpson : My keys... ter is ready for another whooping, sir.